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Publisher's Summary

This is how a family keeps a secret...and how that secret ends up keeping them.
This is how a family lives happily ever after...until happily ever after becomes complicated.
This is how children change...and then change the world.
When Rosie and Penn and their four boys welcome the newest member of their family, no one is surprised it's another baby boy. At least their large, loving, chaotic family knows what to expect.
But Claude is not like his brothers. One day he puts on a dress and refuses to take it off. He wants to bring a purse to kindergarten. He wants hair long enough to sit on. When he grows up, Claude says, he wants to be a girl.
Rosie and Penn aren't panicked at first. Kids go through phases, after all, and make-believe is fun. But soon the entire family is keeping Claude's secret. Until one day it explodes.
Laurie Frankel's This Is How It Always Is is an audiobook about revelations, transformations, fairy tales, and family. And it's about the ways this is how it always is: Change is always hard and miraculous and hard again; parenting is always a leap into the unknown with crossed fingers and full hearts; children grow but not always according to plan. And families with secrets don't get to keep them forever.
©2017 Laurie Frankel (P)2017 Macmillan Audio
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful

By 1mom3kids on 11-14-17

Story mirrors our life -- to a point -- spoilers

My transgender daughter transitioned between first grade and kindergarten, just like Claude/Poppy in this book. I couldn't believe someone had written a story about a situation like ours -- although we know many families with trans kids, I had never read a work of fiction like this. So, to Laurie Frankel, thank you.

The book rang true on many, many levels. The effects of the transition on siblings, the struggle with secrecy. But in some ways, it was different from our story. For example, my child never said she "wanted" to be a girl. She was adamant from as soon as she could talk that she "is" a girl. "I is a girl, mama." Laurie Frankel hit the nail on the head with the depression and the trepidation of the parents.

That's where our stories diverge. My child is 100% a girl. But this book portrays a child who is a little more on the gender spectrum. That is, not 100% girl or 100% boy. Somewhere in the middle. I find that a great number of the kids we've come to know are on that spectrum. So kudos for shedding a light on those who don't fit into a bucket.

The characters rang true, and I was on the edge of my seat trying to figure out what they would do. The Thailand part is a little far-fetched, although also educational.

Thank you again, Laurie Frankel, for legitimizing (but not sensationalizing) the world of those who do not quite/yet fit with society's norms.

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9 of 9 people found this review helpful


By Tina Hichens on 06-28-17

Beautiful story. Beautiful performance.

This book has enlightened me and given me courage to stand firm in what I know to be the most important thing I can do in the face of "different," show love. Be love.

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9 of 9 people found this review helpful

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