In a riotous Nantucket sleigh ride, The Totnes Monster's rollicking narrative reels surreally from a controversial oil strike in the eponymous Totnes to a creakingly ancient Greek submarine wallowing out of Corfu harbor on its voyage round the Mediterranean to the Bay of Biscay, drunk-driven by the ouzo-boozy Captain Halitosis Kamakis, formerly of the Royal Hellenic Navy...along the way, there are the lugubrious musings of a sperm whale named Big Dirk and the sex-crazed Californications of Guru Shami Randi, self-proclaimed Enlightener and Master of the Vagina, whose facial resemblance to a pig owes much to the cocaine-induced collapse of his septum.
The aforementioned insalubrious lot soon cross swords with the denizens of formerly sleepy Totnes, now racked with black gold fever, among them an ample-bosomed sex therapist, the grasping councilor, the long-suffering vicar, John Priestley and his newcomer nemesis Swami Tikka Masala...oh yes and God, who puts in an appearance when the debauchery gets that bit too despicable to put up with, along with a very nasty virus known as SLIM....
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The narration is painful