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The Lightning-Struck Heart
- Narrated by: Michael Lesley
- Length: 19 hrs and 49 mins
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One minute, sixteen-year-old Zoey Redbird is a normal teenager dealing with everyday high school stress: her cute boyfriend Heath, the school's star quarterback who suddenly seems more interested in partying than playing ball; her nosy frenemy Kayla, who's way too concerned with how things are going with Heath; her uber-tough geometry test tomorrow. The next, she's Marked as a fledgling vampyre, forcing her to leave her ordinary life behind and join the House of Night, a boarding school where she will train to become an adult vampyre.
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Good content..horrible narration
- By Laura on 08-17-17
By: P. C. Cast, and others
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The Dark Ones
- Dark Ones Saga, Book 1
- By: Rachel Van Dyken
- Narrated by: Chris Chambers, Hollie Jackson
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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To touch a Dark One is death. To talk to an immortal is suicide. Yet, I've been marked by both. A Vampire. And the King of the immortals. My life is no longer my own. And now I know the truth, my life was never mine to begin with. It was theirs.
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Wow. Just, wow.
- By Colleen on 08-28-18
By: Rachel Van Dyken
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Get Bent!
- The Hybrid of High Moon Series, Book 1
- By: Rick Gualtieri
- Narrated by: Rachel Dulude
- Length: 9 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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My name is Tamara Bentley, "Bent" to my friends, and I'm not supposed to exist. I was born of the forbidden union between a witch and a werewolf, and they've been trying their damnedest to hide my existence ever since. But now my secret is out, and my uncle, the leader of the wolf pack, is pissed beyond belief. In his eyes, I'm something that should've never been born. He wants me dead and doesn't care who he has to sacrifice to get the job done.
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Gualtieri Strikes Again!
- By Amazon Customer on 12-20-18
By: Rick Gualtieri
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Between Wrath and Mercy
- The Divine Between, Book 1
- By: Jess Wisecup
- Narrated by: Kelsey Navarro, Sean Crisden
- Length: 27 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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After her daughter is kidnapped, Emmeline Highclere—a thirty-four-year-old mother living in isolation with memories and grief her only companion—must do everything in her limited power and divine abilities to get the girl back. Emmeline believes her daughter, Elora, is the Beloved—the conduit with goddess-granted divine abilities prophesied to bring peace to the Three Kingdoms. Because the last person thought to be the Beloved was brutally murdered by the enemy kingdom of Folterra, Emmeline has dedicated the last sixteen years to hiding her daughter and keeping her safe.
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Quite possibly my all time favorite book.
- By Emma B on 03-14-23
By: Jess Wisecup
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Goddess with a Blade
- By: Lauren Dane
- Narrated by: Eve Bianco
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Rowan Summerwaite is no ordinary woman. Physical vessel to the Celtic goddess Brigid and raised by the leader of the Vampire Nation, she's a supercharged hunter with the power to slay any vampire who violates the age-old treaty. A recent string of murders has her at odds with Las Vegas's new Scion, the arrogant and powerful Clive Stewart. The killings have the mark of Vampire all over them, and Rowan warns Clive to keep his people in line - or she'll mete out her own brand of justice.
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Average
- By Leesa on 03-26-13
By: Lauren Dane
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The Rebel of Raleigh High
- Raleigh Rebels Series, Book 1
- By: Callie Hart
- Narrated by: Teddy Hamilton, Charlotte North
- Length: 10 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
Hit me. Kick me. Hurt me. Hate me. There’s nothing that the students of Raleigh High can do to Silver Parisi anymore. Over the past year, she’s had to endure more pain and suffering than most people are asked to bear in their lifetimes. She’s a pariah, an outcast, a ghost. She’s also never been one to take shit lying down, though...despite what half the football team might say. With only 168 days left of the school year, it won’t be long until graduation, and Silver’s planning on skipping town and leaving Raleigh firmly in her rearview mirror. Until he comes along....
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Not a YA only! Do NOT blow this off!
- By Amazon Customer on 02-29-20
By: Callie Hart
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Black Dragon Omnibus
- Rise of the Black Dragon, Books 1-3
- By: Jada Fisher
- Narrated by: Rachel Jacobs
- Length: 13 hrs and 45 mins
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Blessed with a magic she doesn’t understand, Ukrah must find her way in a world that doesn’t always embrace her and her gifts. Accompanied by a talking bird and a strange young man who took her in, she must find the legendary dragon rider who saved the world from the Blight. Can Ukrah escape from those who would enslave her, or worse, and find the only person who can help her realize her destiny?
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Not so bad except...
- By Jessica on 07-27-22
By: Jada Fisher
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The Royal Trials: Imposter
- The Royal Trials Series, Book 1
- By: Tate James
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It should have been an easy task for a skilled mercenary like Rybet Waise. Simply break into the royal palace, and rescue her friend from the executioner’s block. But when Rybet accidentally qualifies for the Trials, she finds herself with little choice but to see them through. A thin veil of etiquette, elegance, and glamour hides the true nature of the Trials. Behind closed doors, they are brutal and bloody, and to fail means to forfeit her life. Thrust into the limelight and forced to compete with the Kingdom’s elite sweethearts, unlikely allies emerge and bonds are formed.
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So glad I went for it!
- By Ashley Mann on 07-19-20
By: Tate James
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Southern Storms
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Story
After leaving the city life behind to escape my loveless marriage, I moved to small-town Havenbarrow for a fresh start. What I didn’t expect was to find myself drawn to the town’s black sheep. They called him troubled, cold, a man with a dark past. What everyone seemed to miss about Jax was the splashes of light in his eyes, the random acts of kindness he performed when no one was watching, and the way he made me smile and laugh.
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Hold on to your credit
- By RachNYC on 11-03-22
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Worldship: Udo the Digger
- Worldship, Book 1
- By: Joshua Gayou
- Narrated by: R.C. Bray
- Length: 14 hrs and 29 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Udo's biggest problem isn't being a digger (that's low class), or staying drunk (that's damn expensive), or avoiding the Dwergaz (they're monsters), or even pissing off the supposed Gods. It's that his reality...well, it isn't what he thought. And now, he can't even afford to drink because his so-called friend Nicz is cutting into his business, digging up tin, iron, and copper. So Udo forms a new plan: clay. After all, clay jars are used to store everything: meat, herbs, and, his personal favorite, ale.
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I am confused.
- By Ahkia on 06-02-20
By: Joshua Gayou
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Lucifer's Bride
- Married to the Devil, Book 1
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The devil’s in the details, and I shouldn’t be surprised to find hell in Las Vegas. Luke doesn’t care that I can’t remember a thing about the deal we made on the night of my bachelorette party. All he cares is that I promised my love, my life, and my obedience to him for all eternity. Obedience? Not my style. I’m not looking to be owned by any man. To make matters worse, I was supposed to be marrying another. But Adam can’t stand against Luke’s strength.
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Misses the mark
- By Barbara V. on 04-24-21
By: Roxie Ray, and others
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His Consort
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A new life in New Orleans is all Jason Thorpe had hoped: His quaint little store attracts a devoted staff, and his warm, loving heart grants him a loyal circle of friends. He's perfectly content, having left behind the chill of a confusing and danger-filled night in Washington, until he discovers something unbelievable lurking in the steamy darkness of the shadowy streets of the Vieux Carré, something that turns out to be terrifying and utterly mesmerizing.
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Wow!
- By Bob Jackson on 12-23-18
By: Mary Calmes
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What listeners say about The Lightning-Struck Heart
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Rain
- 12-23-15
Absolutely brilliant
I cannot say enough about this book. First, a warning; it's not for everyone. It is devastatingly funny, but the humor is sometimes crude. For me, it was quite amazing. I was constantly laughing and rewinding to my favorite parts. In over 19 hours, I never once felt like it was slow or boring. I'm doing my best to write a spoiler-free review, so it will not do the book justice.
I'm not one for warm and fuzzy relationships, nor relationships that are too easy or too anguishing. The interactions between Sam and Ryan make this relationship my favorite of all books I have ever read or listened to.
Every character was fleshed out, unique, and worked flawlessly in this story. I cared about each character, laughed at all the bad guys, and was never confused about what was going on. The details were plentiful without being too much.
The performance was phenomenal. The narrator's voices were very different, so I knew who exactly was speaking, and each matched the character perfectly. There was emotion in every word. It was not just a narration; it was a masterful performance full of emotion, laughter, and passion.
I would happily listen to anything this author and narrator ever created. I hope there is a sequel, that it comes soon, and that it has the same narrator. I will listen to this over and over again. It was more than worth the credit.
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109 people found this helpful
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- Belen
- 12-13-15
There aren't enough stars for this...
Any additional comments?
The Lightning-Struck Heart or, as it was originally titled, Unicorn Star F**ker, is a fantastic story of love, friendship, longing, loss, and hope.
Is this funny? Yes. Yes, it is. It's hilarious. Straight up - I was obnoxiously laughing so hard and so loud for so long that I actually began to feel sorry for the people around me. Sorry they were being subjected to my overt hilarity and sorry they were not reading this magnificent and wondrous book so they too could laugh uproariously.
Does this book make your heart ache? In part. Yes, it will, a little. What can be more sad than wanting someone so desperately, but knowing you can't have him?
"...I’m sorry I made an oath. I did it because I thought it was the right thing to do. And I’m sorry that I can’t break it. But you have to believe me that it’s always been you. I promise. I promise." His voice cracked and my hands shook. "I promise, because when I look upon these stars, there is nothing I wish for more than you."
Is this just an OTT Fairy-tale on crack? No. No, it's not. Or, well, it's not only that. There are so many nuances to this. It has humor, heartache, and, most importantly, lessons to be learned about life, love and sometimes letting the things you love go even at the expense of your own heart and soul.
And, oh, the characters!
Wizard Apprentice Sam Haversford aka "Sam of Wilds" is maddening, fantastic and wonderful in all his blurty over-the-top goodness.
Sir Ryan Foxheart, is dashing and wonderful and...an asshole. But not an irredeemable asshole. Which is good.
The sidekick characters are utterly sublime! (Gary, the hornless gay unicorn, Tiggy, the half-giant, Sam's parents, Morgan and Randall the wizards, Kevin the dragon, Mama, Sam's fairy drag mother, the King, Pete, the guard...gods I could go on and on...) They all steal spotlight every time they appear on page again and again.
I *literally* loved every single minute of this.
If you are a fan of Monty Python, Mel Brooks, Top Gun, and The Princess Bride - then you will love this book. You will want to have this book's babies.
If you are a fan of T.J. Klune's, and love his characters Derrick "Bear" McKenna (BOATK), Paul Auster (TMIR), and Sandy Stewart (TMIR) - then you will love this book. You will beg for more ( by the way, T.J....MORE PLEASE!!! ) Literally.
Never fear, dear readers! You get an HEA, but it's also left open for more adventures. And, oh, how I want them. I literally want them so much. Literally.
Michael Lesley takes this funny, makes your heart ache, cracktastic fairy tale and maked it infinitely relatable to anyone who loves humor, sarcasm, sassiness, and even sadness.
This is fantastic in all senses of the word. Run, do not walk, to buy this audio!
HIGHLY, HIGHLY, HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!
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47 people found this helpful
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- C. T.
- 12-24-15
The Go Word Is "Sam"
I love "Tell Me It's Real," but "The Lightning-Struck Heart" just took loooove to a whole other level! With best friends like Gary the hornless, gay unicorn (aka the perversion queen) and Tiggy the half-giant (who smashes and hugs with his whole heart), resigned and reluctant mentors like Morgan and Randall (respectively), a caring king and a butthole of a prince, a frustrating and sometimes stalker-y love interest (Ryan) this great book needs only one more ingredient (besides overly sexual dragons and fairy kings, though it has that, too) to make this book not just pretty awesome, but a vision of pure awesomeness almost too beautiful to put down EVER (okay, maybe that's a bit much...sort of): Sam of Wilds! With his kind heart, sassy mouth, bad sex puns and even worse jokes (love Wassa's name), and the fact that EVERYTHING wants to have sex with him, especially in front of Ryan, he makes a fabulous and fun and downright lovable main character.
And to Michael Lesley: you make this book and these characters really come alive. No other narrator that I've heard could do a more amazing job for these books and queens of sass than you!
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- Shannon Dee
- 12-30-15
Best audiobook of 2015!
What made the experience of listening to The Lightning-Struck Heart the most enjoyable?
The narrator seemed to truly understand and enjoy the content so it was so much fun to listen to!
What was one of the most memorable moments of The Lightning-Struck Heart?
I can't even pick one! I love TJ's writing and wordplay and it was so well done by the narrator that the entire thing just tickled me!
Which scene was your favorite?
Again, not sure I could pick one but the opening scene really gets you into the style and humor of the story
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
I REALLY REALLY tried!
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24 people found this helpful
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- Tina
- 12-13-15
Awesome!
This book was exactly what i needed, I love this book I was laughing my ass off it was awesome, the narrator was great. This audiobook is Hilariously funny and enjoyable wow so must fun thanks TJ Klune and Michael Lesley for making my day. ( Warning DO NOT listen to this book outside you home because people will think you are losing your mind or high). I highly recommend it 5 star.
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- Kevin Smith
- 01-28-16
Like a Sassy Gay Princess Bride
Would you listen to The Lightning-Struck Heart again? Why?
Yes! Just pure entertainment, It's wonderfully funny, yet has it's balance in the achingly familiar longing for what you dream (but don't think you can have). It is an adventure tale that is both filled with excitement of perilous situations and the great delight of the just plain wacky ones.
What was one of the most memorable moments of The Lightning-Struck Heart?
There really are too many great moments to pick just one. What stands out is the sheer abundance of little moments. A line here and there, or the description of a scene or situation in the voice of the main protagonist and storyteller.
Which scene was your favorite?
There are so many scenes that I could think of, but then immediately think of others that could also be considered as a favorite. While not a scene, the relationship between the three friends (Sam, Tiggy The 1/2 Giant, and Gary The Hornless Unicorn) is so well done and complex it makes every scene between them eligible for the title of favorite.
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
It is extremely funny, and I found myself laughing out loud many, many times. But underneath the goofy situations, and sassy dialogue, is the ache of life not being like your dreams, or even easy. Characters that seem shallow and one-dimensional can open up for a moment and show their own aching heart.
Any additional comments?
A lot of "gay" fiction centers in the theme of not being accepted, by yourself or by society. It is refreshing that in this book being gay is thought of as just as valid as being straight, and not treated as anything but just another way of being.
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- Donald
- 04-08-16
Beyond the stars...
I have always enjoyed TJ Klune's work but this story has got to be one of the best that I have listened to since I began listening to audiobooks. The author's wit and writing style had me experiencing every emotion that one could possibly consider. They dynamic between Sam, Garry, and Tiggy was just awesome and the love between Sam and Ryan could be felt (physically) through the words. Adding to the majesty of the words is the excellent narrative abilities of Michael Lesley. Each character was brought to life with the differing vocals assigned to each. What an amazing talent he is! Exceptional is not nearly a strong enough adjective to describe the awesomeness of this book!!!
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- HaloLove
- 12-31-15
"And he smiled."
Any additional comments?
Who is this TJ Klune (who writes beautiful love stories that make you laugh, cry, and want to protect these imaginary people you fall in love with) and how can I get Michael Lesley as my personal narrative of EVERYTHING?!
I came across this awesome duo when I found " Tell me it's real," and got in trouble at work for laughing out loud, AGAINST MY WILL! And I was infected with the same, laughing against my will, while listening to this story.
"It was like getting hit in the face with a puppy made of ice cream and good dreams."
This story of a 'coming of wizard age' tale full of love, lies, requited and unrequited love sets you on a journey full of laughs and ' WTF did I just hear?!' With a sweet giant willing to smash anyone who tries to hurt his besties, a beautiful angelic unicorn name Gary (seriously, a unicorn named Gary lol) and a young wizard with no internal filter whose in love with the immaculate and dashing Ryan, it was impossible not to fall in love with this 19+ hour tale.
"I don't need to love u for all the things u could be, I already love you for all the thing you are."
Michael Lesley! 💖Michael, 💖Michael, 💖Michael!
1. Sexy as Ryan
2. Hilarious as Gary
3. Achingly funny as Sam
4. And Phenomenal as every other character in this story
"I'm going to awkward hug the f**k out of you."
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- Riva
- 01-16-16
Epic and Magnificent!!
Epic and Magnificent!!! That is how I would describe this wonderful book and performance. For have not doubt, Mr. Lesley does NOT read this book; he performs it in a way that you "experience" this book. The combination of TJ Klune's imaginative, funny and poignant fantasy adventure and Micheal Lesley's amazing performance is the stuff of dreams. The story of Sam and Ryan and their marvelous Scooby gang of friends and family had me grinning from start to finish. At 19 hours you would think it would drag, but it didn't. And that is primarily due to TJ Klune's wonderful writing. He makes these characters so endearing that you can't help but get swept up in their lives. Of course there is the usual warning about listening in public. You will laugh out loud and get strange looks and wide berths. But it is so worth a little public shaming. The ending seemed to infer they may be more adventures to follow. I really, really hope there are.
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- K.S.
- 12-20-15
LOVE T.j klune
This author is absolutely amazing. I am in awe of the way his mind works. His books are serously funny mostly because of the fact that the main chacter telling the stories are sarcastic, unlucky and batshit crazy. This book is not different than his other books in that regard. It is however a lot different than the bear, otter and the kid series since this one is set in a fantazy world. The love story always seem to be the background story in the book and you do not get to know the love interest of the MC very well - he seems mostly to be "the pretty one" that he pines after due to his look. But it does not matter since i generally never listen to his books for the romance but for all the the snipy comments and impossible happenings that makes them fun to listen to. I still like the bear otter and the kid series better but this is absolutely worth the time too.
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