Texts from Jane Eyre

  • by Mallory Ortberg
  • Narrated by Zach Villa, Amy Landon
  • 2 hrs and 22 mins
  • Unabridged Audiobook

Publisher's Summary

Mallory Ortberg, co-creator of the cult-favorite website The Toast, presents this whimsical collection of hysterical text conversations from your favorite literary characters.
Everyone knows that if Scarlett O'Hara had an unlimited text-and-data plan, she'd constantly try to tempt Ashley away from Melanie with suggestive messages. If Mr. Rochester could text Jane Eyre, his ardent missives would obviously be in all-caps. And Daisy Buchanan would not only text while driving, she'd text you to pick her up after she totaled her car.
Based on the popular Web feature, Texts from Jane Eyre is a witty, irreverent mash-up that brings the characters from your favorite books into the 21st century.

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What the Critics Say

"This is the best kind of English-major humor. There's not a weak point in the book; it's terrific, snicker-inducing fun throughout." (Library Journal)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful

Charming, Often Hilarious 2+ Hours!

I work the graveyard shift, when my charges are asleep. While I was listening to this, "Texts from Jane Eyre", I laughed so loud I was afraid I was going to wake some of them up.
This is a totally light listen, spoofs and twists that are immensely enjoyable. It sure does help if you know the characters, but I don't think you need to know thaaaat much to find it fun. From Achilles, who's a sullen sod, to "Atlas Shrugged", where during a conversation, "COMMUNISM!" is suddenly shouted, "Jane Eyre", where Mr. Rochester smirks lightly about attics and cellars, to "The Outsiders", where Pony Boy waxes obsessively about eye color, there's a wide variety of original works that are so very enjoyable. "Hamlet" is glorious, "The Lorax" comes off as a pathetically exhausted creature whose emails mostly go to your Spam folder, William Blake has just one more drawing to give, and yes, he must admit, it's of someone being flayed, but who can have enough pictures of flayings?
I was worried that a lot would be lost in translation as texts are rather visual and punctuated with abbreviated 'text-speak', but I needn't have been worried: the narration is brilliant. Each narrator slips back and forth between characters seamlessly and the emotion they fill into each text is to die for.
Don't expect literary depth here; these are just snippets. But the snapshots they provide are hilarious and often provide a measure of depth and 'humanity' if you will to characters known and loved. And, hey! It's barely two hours. It's like eavesdropping only far more entertaining!
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- Gillian "SciFi/Fantasy and Classics to History, Adventure and Memoirs to Social Commentary—I love and listen to it all!"

One big inside joke

If you haven't read the texts this book parodies, you'll be completely lost. However, if you've at least a passing familiarity with classic literature, you'll find this book amusing and occasionally insightful. At their best, these texts capture the emotional force or central idea of a literary work. Of course, some miss the mark, and I question the selection process for what works are included--Sweet Valley High? Really?--but overall this is an enjoyable ride.

The narrators also do a great job of shifting between characters and accents, an impressive feat.
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- Seth H. Wilson

Book Details

  • Release Date: 01-21-2015
  • Publisher: Tantor Audio