Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed

  • by Lance Carbuncle
  • Narrated by Kailaan "The Soliloquy Man" Carter
  • 6 hrs and 39 mins
  • Unabridged Audiobook

Publisher's Summary

Idjit Galoot has a problem. He escaped from his master's house for a brief romp around town, seeking out easy targets such as bitches in heat, fresh roadkill, and unguarded garbage cans. When he returns to his house, the aged basset hound discovers that his master has packed up their belongings and moved to Florida without him. Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed is the story of Idjit Galoot's ne'er-do-well owner and his efforts to work his way back to the dog that he loves. Along the way Idjit's owner encounters Christian terrorists, swamp-dwelling taxidermists, carnies, a b-list poopie-groupie, bluesmen on the run from a trickster deity, and the Florida skunk ape.


See More Like This

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful

Ridiculously funny

More like 3.5 stars
This book was a ridiculously funny adventure about a man who is on a mission to find his beloved dog. On moving day Idjit Galoot goes out galavanting and doesn't return in time to catch the van. This sends his owner on a wild ride all over with the intention of delivering his mother's stuff to the new place all the while in search of his hound. This journey includes dream wanderings, a sale of his soul to a waitress, several near death experiences, fat Elvis, a club foot blues guitarist, bags of frozen poop, taxidermy and many more crazy characters and situations. It often had me laughing out loud. Believe it or not Idjit Galoot is often the voice of reason. Without his advice his owner would not have gotten through most of his life!
Many of the thing thy happen are unbelievable, gross and hysterical but that's what makes this book unique.

I was gifted a copy of this audiobook by the author. This is an unbiased review and all thoughts and opinions are my own.
Read full review

- Megan

Dang, Dr. Rev!

What made the experience of listening to Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed the most enjoyable?

Kailaan "The Soliloquy Man" Carter's excellent voice work helped bring this insane smattering of wordage to life.

What other book might you compare Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed to and why?

Without going into spoiler territory, I'd call this a very dirty south romp, comparable to Irvine Welsh's Maribou Stork Nightmares. It's weird, wild, hilarious, and sometimes kinda gross.

Which scene was your favorite?

The description of the titular dish made my mouth water and my stomach churn for that fine bucket o' goodness.

If you could take any character from Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed out to dinner, who would it be and why?

I'd probably have a dinner 'n' brew with the blues man. We'd have a buck wild time, peppered with impromptu jams.

Any additional comments?

The Dr. Reverend Lance Carbuncle has a wonderful style that always brings a smile.

Read full review

- Goreshackle Raijphistte

Book Details

  • Release Date: 02-26-2016
  • Publisher: Vicious Galoot Books, Co.