• Our Tiny, Useless Hearts

  • By: Toni Jordan
  • Narrated by: Caroline Lee
  • Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
  • Unabridged Audiobook
  • Release date: 08-15-16
  • Language: English
  • Publisher: Bolinda Publishing Pty Ltd
  • 4 out of 5 stars 4.1 (17 ratings)

Regular price: $29.84

Membership details Membership details
  • A 30-day trial plus your first audiobook, free.
  • 1 credit/month after trial – good for any book, any price.
  • Easy exchanges – swap any book you don’t love.
  • Keep your audiobooks, even if you cancel.
  • After your trial, Audible is just $14.95/month.
Select or Add a new payment method

Buy Now with 1 Credit

By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and Amazon's Privacy Notice. Taxes where applicable.

Buy Now for $29.84

Pay using card ending in
By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and Amazon's Privacy Notice. Taxes where applicable.

Add to Library for $0.00

By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and Amazon's Privacy Notice. Taxes where applicable.

Publisher's Summary

Henry has ended his marriage to Caroline and headed off to Noosa with Mercedes' grade three teacher, Martha.
Caroline, having shredded a wardrobe-full of Henry's suits, has gone after them. Craig and Lesley have dropped over briefly from next door to catch up on the fallout from Henry and Caroline's all-night row.
And Janice, Caroline's sister, is staying for the weekend to look after the girls because Janice is the sensible one. A microbiologist with a job she loves, a fervent belief in the beauty of the scientific method and a determination to make a solo life after her divorce from Alec.
Then Craig returns through the bedroom window expecting a tryst with Caroline and finds Janice in her bed, Lesley storms in with a jealous heart and a mouthful of threats, Henry, Caroline and Martha arrive back from the airport in separate taxis - and let's not even get started on Brayden the pizza guy. Janice can cope with all that. But when Alec knocks on the door things suddenly get complicated.
Harnessing the exquisite timing of the great comedies to the narrative power and emotional intelligence for which she is famous, Toni Jordan brings all her wit, wisdom and flair to this brilliant, hilarious audiobook.
©2016 Toni Jordan (P)2016 Bolinda
Show More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful
4 out of 5 stars
By MoodyInVt on 06-01-17


Would you consider the audio edition of Our Tiny, Useless Hearts to be better than the print version?

The narration by Caroline Lee makes the story interesting and entertaining. I don't think I would have enjoyed it as much in the print version.

What other book might you compare Our Tiny, Useless Hearts to and why?

Similar to Lianne Morriarty's books I would say.

Which character – as performed by Caroline Lee – was your favorite?

From a humor standpoint, Craig. He was pretty pathetic and clueless.

Who was the most memorable character of Our Tiny, Useless Hearts and why?

Since it was told from Janice's perspective, I would say she is the most memorable. Funny how it all took place at Caroline's house and because of Caroline's circumstance, however her character was quite one dimensional.

Any additional comments?

Caroline Lee is an amazing narrator. I could listen to her read the phone book. :) The ending was pretty predicable to me. It wrapped up a little too tidy.

Read More Hide me
3 out of 5 stars
By Czarniecka on 11-28-16

play rather than a novel

Funny story about the complexity of relationships. It takes part during one week-end and in one house which makes it feel like a play (especially on the audiobook) more than a novel. Jordan makes some interesting observations about human nature and the nature of the relationships. The only thing which bothered me is that at some moments it tries to be more funny that necessary.

Read More Hide me
See all Reviews

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful
3 out of 5 stars
By sliceandserve on 04-02-17

Was that it?

This book has had rave reviews, heartily recommended by readers and the author's peers. But seriously? Is this considered the highest quality tones?

Firstly, the cute, precocious, voice we are introduced to in the beginning chapters, narrating conversation with children, seemed perfectly tempered and toned... but given this same voice also occupies the narrative of the main character - an supposed adult - it becomes annoying, whiny, and reflects the maturity (or lack thereof) of this story's protagonist...

In fact, the lead in this 'farce' is so hard to like, and certainly challenging to engage with, that I didn't know if I wanted to slap her or delete the book from my library half-way through.

She is neither a role model nor an aspiration. But neither is she particularly interesting in her 'realness'. Yeah, yeah... is pretty much all I kept thinking.

Do you know what it reminds me of? A 30min sitcom ep. A cliched one. Where the lead character has done the same slap-stick moves for 5 series. And we're bored but hoping for a knowingly delivered genius paradigm shift... but nope.

This novel was on all the 'must read' lists, but I'm glad I experienced it by audio, as cld carry on having a life while it whinged and did dumb stuff in the background.

Read More Hide me

0 of 1 people found this review helpful

See all Reviews

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful
5 out of 5 stars
By Cil on 08-24-16

Laugh out loud funny, loved this book

I didn't expect to giggle as much as I did when I bought this book. The characters are so flawed, yet this is what you love about them. The kids Paris and Mackenzie are my favourites, their innocent observations make this book a delight. This book is a fun, well written and enjoyable listen. I couldn't put it down and listened almost completely in one day. Also any book narrated by Caroline Lee is always a treat, and I think this book might just be her best performance yet. She was fantastic and made me think I'm glad I listened rather than read the book myself.
I love all of Toni Jordan's novels, and this one may now be my favourite.

Read More Hide me

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

4 out of 5 stars
By Lynnette Dyer on 12-17-16

Funny with a moral attached

A humorous slant on relationships involving children. Truly out of the mouths of babes, funny and punishing to modern adultery.

Enjoyable read, recommend for a laugh at life.

Read More Hide me
See all Reviews