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If You Didn't Bring Jerky, What Did I Just Eat?
- Misadventures in Hunting, Fishing, and the Wilds of Suburbia
- Narrated by: Ian Patrick Williams
- Length: 6 hrs and 46 mins
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If You Didn't Bring Jerky, What Did I Just Eat?
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Publisher's summary
Whether he is accidentally cooking his brain with hand warmers or yanking his lure away from a trophy fish just before it takes the bait, Bill Heavey can do no right. For almost a decade, he has chronicled his incompetence on the back page of Field & Stream, where his hilarious dispatches about life as a hapless outdoorsman who lives in suburbia have earned him legions of fans.
But Heavey is more than a humorist. The stories in this book range from amusing tales of a modern dad struggling to navigate the finer points of parenting and married life to longer and more serious narratives that involve travel, adventure, and tragedy. No matter what he's writing about, Heavey is a master of blending humor and pathos - and wide-ranging outdoor enthusiasms - into a poignant and potent stew.
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The Good Samaritan Strikes Again
- By: Patrick McManus
- Narrated by: Norman Dietz
- Length: 5 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 239
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 195
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 197
Let the world's funniest sportsman tickle your funny bone with quirky homespun stories and whimsical perspectives on life. Patrick F. McManus gently pokes fun at the oddities of sacred institutions like friendship, marriage, and even hunting and fishing. Soon his crazy theories start making sense, and you know you've crossed the border into McManus country, where life is a little lighter - and much more amusing.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Positive, clean, funny stories - brighten your day
- By Diana on 01-11-14
By: Patrick McManus
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Wild Men, Wild Alaska
- Finding What Lies Beyond the Limits
- By: Rocky McElveen
- Narrated by: Stephen Bel Davies
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 255
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 227
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 225
In Wild Men, Wild Alaska professional hunting and fishing guide and outfitter Rocky McElveen tells the stories of his own adventures as well as those of some of his well-known clients. The book takes listeners directly into the Alaskan bush, and shares the intense challenges of a majestic wilderness that pushes a man to his limits.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Too Much Religion
- By Chris D. on 06-05-18
By: Rocky McElveen
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Deep Creek
- Finding Hope in the High Country
- By: Pam Houston
- Narrated by: Pam Houston
- Length: 10 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 629
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 543
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 541
On her 120-acre homestead high in the Colorado Rockies, beloved writer Pam Houston learns what it means to care for a piece of land and the creatures on it. Elk calves and bluebirds mark the changing seasons, winter temperatures drop to 35 below, and lightning sparks a 110,000-acre wildfire, threatening her century-old barn and all its inhabitants. Through her travels from the Gulf of Mexico to Alaska, she explores what ties her to the Earth, the ranch most of all.
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5 out of 5 stars
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The most beautiful book I’ve ever read
- By KFratt on 04-26-19
By: Pam Houston
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Breaking Wild
- By: Diane Les Becquets
- Narrated by: Therese Plummer, Saskia Maarleveld
- Length: 8 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,011
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 925
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Story4 out of 5 stars 925
Driven to spend days alone in the wilderness, Amy Raye, mother of two, is compelled by the quiet and the rush of nature. But this time, her venture into a remote area presents a different set of dangers than Amy Raye has planned for, and she finds herself on the verge of the precarious edge that she's flirted with her entire life.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Rampant animal cruelty. Unsympathetic characters.
- By Lori on 05-21-16
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Way of the Wolf
- The Vampire Earth, Book 1
- By: E. E. Knight
- Narrated by: Christian Rummel, E. E. Knight (Introduction)
- Length: 11 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 953
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 607
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Story4 out of 5 stars 609
Louisiana, 2065. A lot has changed in the 43rd year of the Kurian Order. Possessed of an unnatural and legendary hunger, the bloodthirsty Reapers have come to Earth to establish a New Order built on the harvesting of enslaved human souls. They rule the planet. They thrive on the scent of fear. And if it is night, as sure as darkness, they will come.
On this pitiless world, the indomitable spirit of mankind still breathes in Lieutenant David Valentine.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Its what you expect, and thats not a bad thing.
- By Kevin McLaughlin on 11-26-08
By: E. E. Knight
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The Bear in the Attic
- By: Patrick F. McManus
- Narrated by: Norman Dietz
- Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 137
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 106
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 110
The beloved humorist and bestselling author returns with his most riotous collection of essays to date. Starting with his trademark outdoorsman's wit, Patrick F. McManus's newest collection ponders the strange allure of the RV, the existential implications of being lost, the baffling tendency of animals to outsmart those who wish to hunt them, and the singular pleasure of doubling the size of every fish one doesn't actually catch.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Buy the other one
- By M Hansen on 12-09-15
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Open Season
- A Joe Pickett Novel
- By: C. J. Box
- Narrated by: David Chandler
- Length: 7 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 8,987
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 8,047
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 8,001
Joe Pickett is the new game warden in Twelve Sleep, Wyoming, a town where nearly everyone hunts and the game warden—especially one like Joe who won't take bribes or look the other way—is far from popular. When he finds a local hunting outfitter dead, splayed out on the woodpile behind his state-owned home, he takes it personally. There had to be a reason that the outfitter, with whom he's had run-ins before, chose his backyard, his woodpile to die in.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Disappointed.
- By Kristina on 02-18-14
By: C. J. Box
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Father Water, Mother Woods
- Essays on Fishing and Hunting in the North Woods
- By: Gary Paulsen
- Narrated by: Patrick Lawlor
- Length: 3 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 85
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 75
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 76
These essays recount his adventures alone and with friends, taking listeners through the seasons. In Paulsen’s north country, every expedition is a major one, and often hilarious. Once again Gary Paulsen demonstrates why he is one of America’s most beloved writers, for he shows us fishing and hunting as pleasure, as art, as companionship, and as source of life’s deepest lessons.
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5 out of 5 stars
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So True
- By J. C. Howard on 04-29-15
By: Gary Paulsen
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Just Passin' Thru
- A Vintage Store, the Appalachian Trail, and a Cast of Unforgettable Characters
- By: Winton Porter
- Narrated by: Jones Allen
- Length: 6 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,069
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 979
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 978
Like a well-crafted stage play, Just Passin' Thru delivers one suspenseful scene after another. But in this historic setting a store on the Appalachian Trail called Mountain Crossings the characters who show up are no fictional creations. Like any good drama, there are the good guys (and gals) and the weirdos, too. Some show up once (and that’s enough), and some appear again and again. But all are united by two things: the author’s story-capturing talent, and whatever it is that lures them to attempt (or conquer) a 2,200-mile path that climbs and plummets from Georgia to Maine.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Well Worth it!
- By Pamela M. on 11-13-14
By: Winton Porter
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A Hunter's Fireside Book
- Tales of Dogs, Ducks, Birds, & Guns
- By: Gene Hill
- Narrated by: Ray Childs
- Length: 5 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 294
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 255
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 251
The legendary American outdoor writer’s finest collection. For decades, Gene Hill’s articles and books have captured the spirit of the outdoors in a way that inspires and entertains millions of readers. A Hunter’s Fireside Book captures the essence of the life of a sportsman and explores the full spectrum of the hunter’s experience: sunrises in the duck blind, an unforgettable hunter’s moon, the camaraderie of men who know the pleasures of being wet and cold and a little bit lost.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Beyond acquiring meat, this is why we go afield
- By Ray C on 02-28-20
By: Gene Hill
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Once Upon a River
- By: Bonnie Jo Campbell
- Narrated by: Susan Bennett
- Length: 11 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 174
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 157
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 156
A finalist for the National Book Award and the National Book Critics Circle Award, Bonnie Jo Campbell is a rising star in contemporary fiction. Hailed by Booklist as a female Huckleberry Finn, Campbell’s heroine is 16yearold Margo Crane. Complicit in her father’s death, Margo flees home for the Stark River. And as she follows the current, she learns the ways of the world from the eccentric characters she meets.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Great Narrator - Horrific story
- By J. Kromrie on 11-04-20
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Astream
- American Writers on Fly Fishing
- By: Robert DeMott - editor
- Narrated by: Brian Morris
- Length: 10 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 54
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 47
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 48
Jim Harrison, Pam Houston, Ted Leeson, Nick Lyons, Thomas McGuane, and more, share stories of fly fishing and life on the river. This marvelous collection features stories from some of America’s finest and most respected writers about one of the world’s most solitary and satisfying sports: fly fishing. For the first time, the stories of thirty-one acclaimed writers including Kim Barnes, Walter Bennett, Russell Chatham, Guy de la Valdne, Robert DeMott, Chris Dombrowski, Ron Ellis, Jim Fergus, Kate Fox, Charles Gaines, Bruce Guernsey, Jim Harrison, Pam Houston, Michael Keaton, Greg Keeler, Sydney Lea, Ted Leeson, Nick Lyons, Craig Mathews, Thomas McGuane, Joseph Monninger, Howard Frank Mosher, Jake Mosher, Craig Nova, Margot Page, Datus Proper, Le Anne Schreiber, Paul Schullery, W. D. Wetherell, and Robert Wrigley come together in one collection. Fly fishers and non-fly fishers alike will recognize in these poignant tales the universal aspects of the appreciation of nature, the necessity of conservation, and the joy and knowledge that come from time spent on fresh and salt water. This is a delightful, handsome volume that captures the allure and spirit of fly fishing and those that love it.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Flowery nonsense
- By 964a5 on 05-10-13
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Wildlife Wars
- The Life and Times of a Fish and Game Warden
- By: Terry Grosz
- Narrated by: Pete Simonelli
- Length: 10 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 474
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 430
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 429
In Wildlife Wars, Terry Grosz serves up fascinating stories - alternately hair-raising, hilarious, and heart-wrenching - from his 30-year struggle to protect wildlife in America. A natural storyteller, Grosz writes about the remarkable characters he met - on both sides of the law - as he matched wits with elk poachers, salmon snaggers, commercial-market duck hunters, and a host of other law-breakers. Best of all, though, these stories are so remarkably entertaining you won't want to put them down.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Title should be: "reckless egomaniac tells lies"
- By ross on 03-01-17
By: Terry Grosz
-
The Source of All Things
- A Memoir
- By: Tracy Ross
- Narrated by: Tracy Ross
- Length: 7 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 29
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 24
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 24
A loving and devoted step-father, Donnie introduced Tracy Ross's family to the joys of fishing, deer hunting, camping, and hiking among the pristine mountains of rural Idaho. Donnie was everything Tracy dreamed a dad would be: protective, brave, and kind. But when his dependence on his eight-year-old daughter's companionship went too far, everything changed.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Testimonial
- By Anonymous User on 02-10-20
By: Tracy Ross
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For more than 20 years, Heavey has staked a claim as one of America's best sportsmen writers. In feature stories and his Field & Stream column A Sportsman's Life, he has taken audiences across the country and beyond to experience his triumphs and failures as a suburban dad who happens to love hunting and fishing. This new collection gathers together a wide range of his best work - tales that are odes to the notion that enthusiasm is more important than skill and testaments to the enduring power of the natural world.
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one of the best storytellers of all time!
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A longtime contributor to Field and Stream, Bill Heavey knew more than a little about hunting and fishing when he embarked on an ambitious project a few years ago to see how far he could get eating wild. But Heavey knew next to nothing about gardening or foraging, and he lives in northern Virginia, close to Washington, D.C. The rural wilds, this was not. Is it any surprise that his tasty triumphs were equaled by his hilarious misadventures?
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4 out of 5 stars
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Not what I thought, but still loved it.
- By Austin Kelley on 12-08-16
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Kerplunk!
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The stories in Kerplunk! travel the byways and highways of the Pacific Northwest, bringing to life offbeat, down-home characters who hope their grandchildren can pick the lock on the gun safe because they've forgotten the combination, who know exactly why it costs $500 to make a fly lure that retails for $2, and who aren't afraid to confront the problems of bird-dog flatulence.
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3 out of 5 stars
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narrator nightmare
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Meat Eater
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Meat Eater chronicles Rinella’s lifelong relationship with nature and hunting through the lens of ten hunts, beginning when he was an aspiring mountain man at age ten and ending as a thirty-seven-year-old Brooklyn father who hunts in the remotest corners of North America.
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5 out of 5 stars
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a modern classic
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MeatEater's Campfire Stories: Close Calls
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 5,836
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5 out of 5 stars
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Incredible
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In the chapters of Never Sniff a Gift Fish, McManus will teach you the wisdom that is usually shared only in the close ranks of modern-day hunters and gatherers. To complete your arsenal, McManus also includes "The Hunter's Workout Guide" and a special "Family Camper's Dictionary". Exercises like the hindquarter shuffle will make you move like a hunter. And phrases like "Yip-yip-yip-Owoooooo!" will help you sound like one, too.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Eh
- By Kim on 07-21-11
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For more than 20 years, Heavey has staked a claim as one of America's best sportsmen writers. In feature stories and his Field & Stream column A Sportsman's Life, he has taken audiences across the country and beyond to experience his triumphs and failures as a suburban dad who happens to love hunting and fishing. This new collection gathers together a wide range of his best work - tales that are odes to the notion that enthusiasm is more important than skill and testaments to the enduring power of the natural world.
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5 out of 5 stars
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one of the best storytellers of all time!
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4 out of 5 stars
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Not what I thought, but still loved it.
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The stories in Kerplunk! travel the byways and highways of the Pacific Northwest, bringing to life offbeat, down-home characters who hope their grandchildren can pick the lock on the gun safe because they've forgotten the combination, who know exactly why it costs $500 to make a fly lure that retails for $2, and who aren't afraid to confront the problems of bird-dog flatulence.
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3 out of 5 stars
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narrator nightmare
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In the chapters of Never Sniff a Gift Fish, McManus will teach you the wisdom that is usually shared only in the close ranks of modern-day hunters and gatherers. To complete your arsenal, McManus also includes "The Hunter's Workout Guide" and a special "Family Camper's Dictionary". Exercises like the hindquarter shuffle will make you move like a hunter. And phrases like "Yip-yip-yip-Owoooooo!" will help you sound like one, too.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Eh
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Often compared to Garrison Keillor and Mark Twain, Patrick F. McManus maintains just the right balance between baffled innocence and conspiratorial confidence. Since 1979, this humorist has been delighting readers with hilarious stories recounting his childhood in rural Idaho and relating his misadventures in the great outdoors. Whether you're a sportsman or a couch potato, he will have you laughing out loud at his escapades.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Classic Pat McManus
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Boone
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,109
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,105
Robert Morgan's Gap Creek was an Oprah's Book Club selection and a phenomenal New York Times best-seller. Here he turns his talent to chronicling the life of American frontier legend Daniel Boone.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I am ruined for modern life
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The Best Hunting Stories Ever Told
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- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 176
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 153
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 157
Follow the trails of hunters - the original storytellers - as they interpret signs, examine tracks, and chase and catch their prey (or fail to). Listeners can curl up with the best authentic hunting fiction and non-fiction, bringing the great Mount Kenya and the prairies of the American Bison into your living room. From Theodore Roosevelt and Gene Hill to Rick Bass and Charles Dickens, remember classic hunting tales and discover new stories of hunters’ luck, camaraderie, and use of smarts on the trail.
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4 out of 5 stars
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A broad collection of hunting tales
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Rubber Legs and White Tail-Hairs
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 253
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 206
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Story5 out of 5 stars 204
America's most hilarious sportsman returns with this collection of insights about youth, the great outdoors, and the philosophy of fileting fish. When best-selling author Patrick McManus looks at a subject, you're sure to come away with an outrageously new perspective.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Laughed so hard I cried!
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American Buffalo
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 9,922
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 8,789
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Both a captivating narrative and a book of environmental and historical significance, American Buffalo tells us as much about ourselves as Americans as it does about the creature who perhaps best of all embodies the American ethos.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Phenomenal
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Ranger Confidential
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- By: Andrea Lankford
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- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,221
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,089
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The real stories behind the scenery of America’s national parks. For 12 years, Andrea Lankford lived in the biggest, most impressive national parks in the world, working a job she loved. She chaperoned baby sea turtles on their journey to sea. She pursued bad guys on her galloping patrol horse. She jumped into rescue helicopters bound for the heart of the Grand Canyon. She won arguments with bears. She slept with a few too many rattlesnakes. Hell yeah, it was the best job in the world! Fortunately, Andrea survived it.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Depressing from Cover to Cover
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What listeners say about If You Didn't Bring Jerky, What Did I Just Eat?
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Austin
- 09-24-20
Beware the twist
the only reason I didnt finish the book in one sitting is that the author has this tendency to go from belly laughs, and pensive passages, to topics that hit home a little bit harder. I am facing my father's slow death, and I found that this book drew out emotions that I have been avoiding.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Roseclan
- 04-02-17
Funny because you can relate!
If you have ever hunted or fished in your life, you can relate to his stories. He is funny because he always pokes fun at himself.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance1 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Kelmare
- 10-13-15
A great story ruined by AWFUL mouth sounds
This book has wonderfully amusing and heart touching stories of hunting, but the worst mouth/tongue popping/smacking I've ever have ever forced myself to listen to. the reader if very engaging, but editing & sounds dropped the ball TERRIBLY!!!!
VERY DISAPPOINTED, but only with the performance!!!!
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Matthew
- 10-18-22
The legendary Bill Heavey
I had heard Bill Heavey mentioned on meat eater podcast so when I came across the audiobook I jumped at it. It was a million times better than I thought it would be. Funny, heartfelt and reminds you why we hunt. Can’t wait to listen to more. Makes my work days fly by.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Charlie
- 01-04-23
interesting, humorous
I'm not a hunter and havent fished since i was a teen, but surprisingly there's something about these stories that has captivated me, with an occasional chuckle or belly laugh. Give this author a try!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Bo
- 09-12-17
Hilarious
This book had me laughin'
This is something every outdoorsman can relate to. we've all been in these funny situations
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- motomike27
- 01-25-16
Laugh out loud until you cry
A forever keeper. Top shelf all the way. A true classic with tales every hunter can appreciate.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jacob
- 07-18-21
Emotional rollercoaster
I laughed and cried this man is pretty relatable. Also this narrator has a amazing voice.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Tyler N.
- 08-02-20
good listen
if you're looking for a good laugh and maybe a tear jurker as well this is a good one to grab.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- W. Larson
- 08-05-21
W. Larson
This is the funniest book I have read in a long time. Made a fool of my self driving and laughing with no one else in the car. Not the cornball humor you read on the back page of most outdoor magazines. Great wit and sarcasm. I think most sportsman can relate to some of the stories. I can. Candid stories about loss and family will stay with me for awhile. Great read and perfectly narrated. Top 5 book for me.
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