Deific Dozen

By: Brian Orlowski

Narrated by: Tim Welch

Length: 10 hrs and 50 mins

Publisher's summary

It has long been suspected that aliens have watched over us, interacted with us, and even tinkered with our nether regions. But until now, no one was brave enough to bring forth the truth about the connection between modern religion and aliens from another galaxy! Was Jesus given secret information from travelers from outer space? Were most of the major discoveries throughout history, like the recipe for KFC chicken, provided by spacemen? Who are the Twelvists and what is this secret society hiding? Why are Scientologists so nutty? All these questions are almost answered and semi-logically explained in an enlightening, thrilling, and comedic journey anyone with half a brain should listen to.

©2013 Brian Orlowski/AuthorMike Ink (P)2014 AuthorMike Ink Audio

Funniest Read in a While

Any additional comments?

The Deific Dozen was one of the funniest books I have read in a while. Through author Brian Orlowski’s humorous jabs at Scientology and all the situations the characters find themselves in, I was kept captivated throughout the book. On the outside it is not hard to make the connection and see that The Da Vinci Code is being parodied here and some of the characters represent actual celebrity Scientologists like Tom Crows and John Trafalgar who most likely represent Tom Cruise and John Travolta.
The book begins with Randall Teodi, a curator at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City, being fatally shot one morning at the museum. Randall’s daughter, Violet also works at the museum with her father and is present when he is shot. Before Randall passes away he tells Violet of a secret and to look for a Grant Piosto who can help figure out what he needs to reveal. Once united, the comedic duo sets off in search of clues about alien involvement with religion that are hidden in many works of art. Their adventure takes them to Europe and back to the United States and every clue presents a new funny situation.
In the end I thought it was a great read and my favorite characters definitely had to be Tom Crows and John Trafalgar. I would recommend this book to anyone who likes parodies on modern issues and a good laugh.

Engaging, Intelligent, and Sophisticated

Would you consider the audio edition of Deific Dozen to be better than the print version?

I haven't read the print version.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Deific Dozen?

The opening was most memorable. The introduction of the senators torture and the comedy splashed in was exciting.

Have you listened to any of Tim Welch’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

This is my first listen to Tim Welch. He was excellent, and expertly delivered this novel in a great engaging fashion.

Who was the most memorable character of Deific Dozen and why?

Violet Stern was excellent.

Any additional comments?

A great parody that mocks the Dan Brown’s Professor Langdon Series (Angels and Demons). Brian Orlowski did a great job writing this novel, which was very smart, sophisticated and out-right funny in many places.

All hell breaks loose when Violet Stern’s dying father encourages her to find an Art History (and sometimes adjunct professor), Grant. She finds him at a Sheraton Hotel in New York City, and they report to the Metropolitan Museum of Art where her father, the curator, had died. Clues begin to unravel that takes Grant and Violet on a tour of artifacts that span the world.

Anyone looking to listen to a great mystery, by a narrator (Tim Welch) that effectively delivers the punch lines, then the Deific Dozen should be a helluva listen for you.

Review by Rahiem Brooks author of Con Test.