Damned

  • by Chuck Palahniuk
  • Narrated by Tai Sammons
  • 7 hrs and 25 mins
  • Unabridged Audiobook

Publisher's Summary

“Are you there, Satan? It’s me, Madison,” declares the whip-tongued 13-year-old narrator of Damned, Chuck Palahniuk’s subversive new work of fiction.
The daughter of a narcissistic film star and a billionaire, Madison is abandoned at her Swiss boarding school over Christmas, while her parents are off touting their new projects and adopting more orphans. She dies over the holiday of a marijuana overdose—and the next thing she knows, she’s in Hell. Madison shares her cell with a motley crew of young sinners that is almost too good to be true: a cheerleader, a jock, a nerd, and a punk rocker, united by fate to form the six-feet-under version of everyone’s favorite detention movie.
Madison and her pals trek across the Dandruff Desert and climb the treacherous Mountain of Toenail Clippings to confront Satan in his citadel. All the popcorn balls and wax lips that serve as the currency of Hell won’t buy them off.
This is the afterlife as only Chuck Palahniuk could imagine it: a twisted inferno where The English Patient plays on endless repeat, roaming demons devour sinners limb by limb, and the damned interrupt your dinner from their sweltering call center to hardsell you Hell. He makes eternal torment, well, simply divine.

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What the Critics Say

“The story scoots along like any great adventure story, as she takes on Hitler and Catherine de Medici, and it’s a delight seeing Madison find her place in life, even if it’s in death.” (Booklist)
"Palahniuk is one of the freshest, most intriguing voices to appear in a long time. He rearranges Vonnegut's sly humor, DeLillo's mordant social analysis, and Pynchon's antic surrealism (or is it R. Crumb's?) into a gleaming puzzle palace all his own." (Newsday)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful

Don't Do It...

OK Chuck, you win. Clearly you wrote this book for the sole purpose of playing a game of "chicken" with your readers - to see if you could force everyone to turn this horrible excuse for a story off before it ends. I did. I LOVED Haunted (a book which offended a lot of other people) but this book is on a whole different (lower) level.

One scene details the main character (a 13 year old girl) climbing half-way up the body of a huge female demon, holding up the still living, decapitated head of a teen-age boy to a part of the demon's body (a body part that can't be named here) so the boy's head can... you know... (this is to "distract" the demon from swallowing said boy's body - which itself now shows signs of "reacting" to what it's decapitated head is doing.

If you understood just how cleaned up/censored the above description was, you'd be shocked. There is no way for me to even hint at how far this goes, because the review would be too offensive to remain posted. I have an extremely healthy sense of humor, and as I said I've enjoyed previous works by the author, but this just turned my stomach.

This may be the first time in my life I honestly want a refund on a story.
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- Amanda "I rate as follows: 5 Stars = Loved it. 4 Stars = Really liked it. 3 Stars = Liked it. 2 Stars = Didn't like it. 1 Star = Hated it."

Damned is what you will be if you waste a credit

The story is told through the eyes of a 13 year old girl but it falls flat as the author tries to recreate a weird version of Juno except in hell. It is really the rambling craziness of a 13 year old girl, nothing profound. I would pass.
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- Ernest

Book Details

  • Release Date: 10-18-2011
  • Publisher: Blackstone Audio, Inc.