Bill the Vampire : The Tome of Bill

  • by Rick Gualtieri
  • Narrated by Christopher John Fetherolf
  • Series: The Tome of Bill
  • 7 hrs and 44 mins
  • Unabridged Audiobook

Publisher's Summary

There are reasons we fear the night. He isn't one of them.
Bill Ryder was a dateless dweeb...then he died. Unfortunately for him that was just the beginning of his troubles. He awoke to find himself a vampire, one of the legendary predators of the night. Unfortunately for him, he was still at the bottom of the food chain.
Now he finds himself surrounded by creatures stronger, deadlier and a whole lot cooler than he is. Worst yet, they all want him dead...permanently this time.
Bill isn't exactly average, though. A vampire like him hasn't been seen in centuries. He's got a few tricks up his sleeve, unlikely allies, and an attitude problem that makes him too damn obnoxious to quit.
Join him in this hilarious tale of monsters, mayhem, and the unlikely hero who's not afraid to tell them all off...even if it gets his teeth kicked in.

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful

imagine howard stern as a vampire

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bill was lured to a party by a hot chick only to be fed upon. when he wakes up as a vampire, he learns that he and the other geek vampires are going to be killed as a joke. somehow, bill is able to resist night razor's, the coven leader, compulsion and embarrasses him in front of everyone. before he can kill bill, the regional coven leader, ozymandias, overrules night razor and puts bill under a temporary protection order.

sally, the girl that lured bill to the party, is ordered to show bill the ropes and teach him the coven's ways. night razor and the rest of the coven try to find loophole's in the temporary protective order and try to kill bill.

under ozymandias' and sally's tutelage, they convince bill that he needs to live up to the bad a$$ reputation he created when he stood up to night razor on the night of his birth. so starts bill's like as a vampire. things get a little more complicated when ozymandias is sent away on a mission and bill realizes sally is more of a "frenemy" than he suspected.

there are a lot of funny scenes: bill's 1st feeding, bill trying to convince one of his friends he's really a vampire, the way sally treats bill when they're away from other vampires, optimus prime as a weapon...

narration is great. the narrator is the perfect fit for bill and sally.

overall, a very fun ride. it's short and sweet.

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- Mike Naka "Avid Zombie fan who's starting to listen to more and more Fantasy and Sci-Fi stories. So, my description is apt to change. Dog lover who's known to have cats. LOL C# coder, part-time prepper, B movie fan, AMC watcher, recovering but successful day trader, perpetual student, overjoyed uncle, former adrenaline junkie with a flare for cooking, and lots more. LOL"

Cute-almost funny

Great book for the young adult. Tries out an original story line but falls back on the old tried and true Vampire lore. Not a bad attempt. Not a thriller, Not that funny, just okay.
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- colleen "My favorite genres are absurdist humor, Sci-fi & modern fantasy, but, as you can see, I'll read just about anything. Don't mind the typos."

Book Details

  • Release Date: 01-21-2013
  • Publisher: Rick Gualtieri