A Girl's Guide to Vampires : Dark Ones

  • by Katie MacAlister
  • Narrated by Karen White
  • Series: Dark Ones
  • 13 hrs and 19 mins
  • Unabridged Audiobook

Publisher's Summary

Joy Randall's Top-five tips for vampire hunters:

Location, location, location. Vampires won't be caught dead (ha!) in places like discos, 10-minute lube shops, or Switzerland. Remember, if you wouldn't be there, neither would a bloodsucker.
Trust your eyes. You know the handsome, annoyingly arrogant, self-assured man in the shadows with long hair and a cleft in his chin? He's your vampire.
No matter how tempting it might be, do not "accidentally" acquire a paper cut on your finger and suggest your vampire kiss it to make it better.
Play it cool. Don't offer to accompany your prince of the night on the talk-show circuit, and whatever you do, don't offer him your heart!
Most of all, remember: being a vampire is nothing to laugh about.


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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful

Maybe it was Katie's first "stab" at writing

Smarmy lead guy with antiquated language "Baby" this and "Baby" that. Really idiotic leading female whom all the men in the story inexplicably fall head over heels for. One lonely vampire almost as an after-thought? This is a Vampire story. Where are the sexy Dark Ones?

This book is nowhere near the level of the books later in the Dark Ones series. I really enjoy Katie MacAlister. I think her writing is irreverent and down right laugh out loud funny. Maybe this book was written before she really developed her style.

If you've never read the Dark Ones before, start with a newer one. (I started with Zen and the Art of Vampire, because that was what Audible had before the first three were re-issued.) Then come back and get the first ones just so you can find out how some of the characters end up with their beloveds.

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- Elizabeth

Female lead too stupid to live

What would have made A Girl's Guide to Vampires better?

A smarter, more mature female lead. I read/listened to some immature, idiotic female characters before but Joy takes the cake.

Who would you have cast as narrator instead of Karen White?

Emma Galvin or Kristine Hvam. They're both awesome.

You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

It was a fun story.

Any additional comments?

The best friend Roxy was also really annoying.

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- Amazon Customer

Book Details

  • Release Date: 01-29-2013
  • Publisher: HarperAudio