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This is an erotic story of what may have been - a way that the ripper came and went.
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By Kd on 11-30-13
Juvenile & Unclear
This erotic story didn’t work for me. The author failed to connect the past and present in a meaningful or purposeful way. The point of the romantic relationship’s timelessness was not substantiated. She would’ve done better just to situate the relationship in one time or another. It didn’t work at all. The sex scenes were not done well at all and were few. I think they may have had sex completely only once. Though talk of sexual arousal was constant. The author’s attempt to write about the h’s vaginal moisture from arousal—written about with more earthy language—as an erotic and desirous romantic aspect worked in the exact opposite manner, thereby making the h’s moisture an issue of concern and quite unappealing instead of desirous. And it’s not the issue itself b/c some authors do a great job at describing moisture from desire as a plus and use it to its erotic full effect. But not this author. It was but one example of how the author proved she does not know how to write erotica. As a result, it all came across as a 13-year-old’s attempt at writing about sex and thinking that certain words alone were what make some things sexy or erotic.
To me the worst of this story was the author’s continual and almost non-stop use of “once again” and “once more”. One example: “Upon entering the room, once more, Trea, heard what someone had come up with, a description of the ripper. Listening as she washed mugs, she noticed that everyone seem to think that he was a man of station....Trea thought of her gent once more and shivered….and just around dark, her uncle, once again, threw her out onto the street to work her ways once more. The fog wafting over the cobblestones once more….Floating in her own hazes, [yes the narrator said “hazes”]Trea relieved the chase once more over and over again as she fought to reach wakefulness once more….as she wiped the sleep once more out of her eyes…she saw it was going to be a beautiful day once more.” This passage lasted about 1 minute and 13 seconds and is but one small blip of the many, many times listeners are accosted with “once more” and “once again.”
And there were times that, b/c of the way the author put words together, I wondered about the author’s ability to write English. At times, the author’s syntax led me to wonder about whether or not English was her 2nd language and thus, the order of the words might make more sense in another language but be awkward in English. I will not pursue this author’s work again. There appears to be a reason why her short work is meaningfully cheaper than other authors' of erotic lit.
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