You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again

  • by Heather McDonald
  • Narrated by Heather McDonald
  • 3 hrs and 32 mins
  • Abridged Audiobook

Publisher's Summary

You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again is the laugh-out-loud story of an attractive Los Angeles woman who found herself in the predicament of being an unwilling virgin.
As an actress, writer, and stand-up comedienne, Heather McDonald passed up ample opportunities to have her V-card revoked by handsome, rich, and sometimes even fabulously famous men, but she could not bring herself to do "it" until well after her friends had been deflowered. As Chelsea Handler so lovingly puts it, "Thank God, Heather waited 27 years to lose her virginity or she wouldn't have any material for this book."
Whether in a backseat, a community pool, or a sports stadium, with a frat boy, a doctor, or an A-list celebrity, Heather McDonald knew how to turn those boys blue. Unlike "putting out", blue balling might not have paid her rent or landed her free trips to Hawaii, but it did provide her with hilarious stories and adventures in her search for true love - and, ultimately, her very own happy ending. Now, Heather McDonald will never blue ball in this town again.

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What the Critics Say

"The only thing funnier than Heather's impersonation of us is... this book!" (Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe Kardashian)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful

Hooray for me and screw You!!!

Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?

Only to let a friend know how self possessed and usury some women can be,


How would you have changed the story to make it more enjoyable?

Stop with all of the how I took advantage of men and look how pretty and smart I amexcerpts.


Did Heather McDonald do a good job differentiating all the characters? How?

Her being the main character was the most expanded part, and she played the connivingcoed sorority girl to the hilt.


Did You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again inspire you to do anything?

Avoid women like Heather McDonald.


Any additional comments?

During the summer I read Chelsea Handler, Amy Schumer, Sarah Silverman, Lena DunnAmy Poeller, and Tina Faye. With exceptions of Tina Fey & Amy Poeller all of their books are very similar. The Jewish girls are hung up on their Dads and telling everyone about their gynecological issues and how they lost their virginity, while struggling to be good comedians.. Lena Dunn's book was the worst of all of the books. She may be a genius but she has a lot of "physco" baggage and disgusting physical issues" to get off her mind. Also Amy Poeller is very rude to a man siting in first class.. She assume he's rich, because he bumped her getting off the plane. Maybe he upgraded with points and or paid extra to enjoy a first class flight, but she had to call him a rich Mother F**ker because her and her girlfriends wanted to be noisy on the plane.I lost a lot of respect for Amy after reading that excerpt..

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- Buck

Best storyteller

I love Heather McDonald. From her comedy to her podcast to now her book.
I've been listening to her for some time now and finally decided to check out her book. It's hilarious. Heather has this great ability to make you really visualize whatever story she is telling. Not only is it funny but it it true to life.
I wish she had more books out there honestly it is the perfect thing to listen to while at the gym or just driving or home relaxing.
Hoping there will be a serial sister book soon!
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- Kelly LaBelle

Book Details

  • Release Date: 10-21-2011
  • Publisher: Brilliance Audio