In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...

  • by Adam Carolla
  • Narrated by Adam Carolla
  • 6 hrs and 42 mins
  • Abridged Audiobook

Publisher's Summary

"A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, 'You've got to be kidding me, son.' The bartender replied, 'New policy. Everyone has to show their ID.' Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II."
It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back.
In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints, Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.

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What the Critics Say

"If comedy books were a big-breasted porn collection, In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks would be Christy Canyon." (Bill Simmons, ESPN columnist and best-selling author of The Book of Basketball)
"Adam Carolla is a genius. And no, I'm not kidding."(Jimmy Kimmel)
“I don’t know this guy from Adam, but Carolla’s humor - fearlessly crass, shamelessly honest and irresistibly funny - sucks out like liposuction the layers of fatty pride to expose the often warped and wounded psyche buried deep within the modern American male.”(Ken Burns)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful

ACE hits it out of the ball park!

As someone who is also sick to death of the pussyness of our society it was nice to know I'm not alone. There is definitely a decline in men these days. This book is not for hardcore, crybaby, everything needs to be graded on a curve, easily offended, why cant the government wipe my ass, I need my safe space Liberals. Does that mean Adam is all in on the right side? NO! But he has learned to man up and take responsibility (key word there) for his life. He's realized what all successful people (both men and women) have realized and that's if he wants something done or to achieve something, it's going to involve action, not sitting on your ass watching Netflix, hoping whoever you voted for is going to take care of you! Again, not a book for Liberals. On that note...enjoy!
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- Jordan Davis

It's so true about today's society. thanks ace man

it's always great hearing the stories of the ace man, and here I thought I had it hard growing up.
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- Oswaldo wegrzyn

Book Details

  • Release Date: 11-02-2010
  • Publisher: Random House Audio