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If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up?
- A Parody for Adults
- Narrated by: Bobcat Goldthwait
- Length: 2 mins
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If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up?
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Publisher's summary
Before they Go the F**k to Sleep, they need to Shut the F**k Up. If you give a kid a cookie, will he shut the f**k up? That is the question at the heart of this hilarious, deeply honest, profanity-laced book for parents who will do whatever it takes for a moment’s peace.
What really happens when you give in to your child’s tantrums? The events that follow this seemingly simple act will test parents to the breaking point… while entertaining the millions of us who have been there ourselves (and lived to tell). Also a cautionary and instructive tale for new parents, If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F**k Up? is a must-have for every family library collection. Just keep it on the top shelf.
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Story4 out of 5 stars 15,597
Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
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5 out of 5 stars
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More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
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Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,089
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 966
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Story4 out of 5 stars 962
Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
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3 out of 5 stars
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They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
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I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 55,706
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 50,186
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 49,930
Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
What listeners say about If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up?
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story2 out of 5 stars
- Missa
- 12-13-14
a poor man's "go the f&$@ to sleep"
not nearly as good. if you can get Go the F&#$ to Sleep, get that instead. the only good part was Bobcats performance.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story2 out of 5 stars
- Paul.
- 01-02-12
If you must listen to poetry.
Good for the price. ( free ) The first minuet held my attention. Not so much the second minuet.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Lisa
- 10-05-12
Awesome
Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?
I loved it and it gave me a laugh!
What was your reaction to the ending? (No spoilers please!)
It ended as expected but the humour through out kept you thinking and on your toes!
Do you think If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up? needs a follow-up book? Why or why not?
Why not...a little humour never hurt when it comes to kids and parenting!
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Justin houser
- 12-16-15
lol
A little short but what do you expect for about a buck.
Still I thought it was funny.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Foxymoron
- 12-24-15
Reminds me of my ex husband
I believe the story was loosely based on actual incident that my ex husband has done. I am the ex wife that handed him divorce papers as I bailed him out. Bobcat did an excellent job narrating this incident and its full glorious splendor. A great bedtime story for children that can serve as a warning for what may happen. So never snitch on your Pops kids.
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3 people found this helpful
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- KAREN
- 04-09-12
It was okay for what it was
Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?
I am familiar with the If You Give a Kid a Cookie books and this was my first Audible purchase. I mostly just wanted to see how the program worked. The sound is good, but the text came on a little strong for my taste. I don't know if its only the text or the combinationn of text and voice of Bobcat Goldthwait. So, it's over the top (IMHO) for the text, but mild for Goldthwait.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Tracey
- 03-04-13
Off Color Humor
Ok, this is probably funnier to me than it should be, but I am a teacher and have seen every form of: If you give a ..., book. When I downloaded this, I didn't know if it would actually cuss or just bleep out the cuss words, be forewarned that it does actually cuss. If you are offended by the f--- word, do not download this. But if you are not, it is definitely good for a chuckle, especially if you have some background with the books that it is a parody.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story2 out of 5 stars
- Brian
- 11-03-15
Not The Best
I thought Bobcat Goldthwait did a good job with not the best of story. I'm very familiar with the kid's cookie books, and I see what the author was trying to do, but it just didn't come off very good. If it wasn't for Bobcat's narration it would have been horrible.
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Overall2 out of 5 stars
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Performance2 out of 5 stars
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Story2 out of 5 stars
- Ellington
- 12-17-14
Ok - ISH
I didnt like it as much as much as Go The F--- to Sleep. I thought it was not as funny or cute.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story2 out of 5 stars
- Juillet Pércival
- 01-05-15
decent.
it was amusing but not as good as Go The F*** To Sleep or You Have to F***ing Eat. For the price though it was well worth it. got a solid laugh
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