I Can Barely Take Care of Myself

  • by Jen Kirkman
  • Narrated by Jen Kirkman
  • 6 hrs and 20 mins
  • Unabridged Audiobook

Publisher's Summary

"You'll change your mind."
That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control. Parenthood can be very rewarding, but let's face it, so are margaritas at the adults-only pool.
Jen's stand-up routine includes lots of jokes about not having kids (and some about masturbation and Johnny Depp), after which complete strangers constantly approach her and ask, "But who will take care of you when you're old?" (Servants!) Some insist, "You'd be such a great mom!" (Really? You know me so well!)
Whether living rent-free in her childhood bedroom while trying to break into comedy (the best free birth control around, she says), or taking the stage at major clubs and joining a hit TV show - and along the way getting married, divorced, and attending excruciating afternoon birthday parties for her parent friends - Jen is completely happy and fulfilled by her decision not to procreate.
I Can Barely Take Care of Myself is a beacon of hilarious hope for anyone whose major life decisions have been questioned by friends, family, and strangers in a comedy club bathroom. And it should satisfy everyone who wonders if Jen will ever know true love without looking into the eyes of her child.


What the Critics Say

"Jen Kirkman has written an excellent - and very funny - guide to promote not having children. Thanks girl, for saving me the time." (Chelsea Handler)


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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful

Finally! Someone child free and proud!

Jen Kirkman has put into words what I've been thinking for years. She opened up her heart and life to true vulnerability. Although I may disagree with some of what she says, you can't help but respect the woman's decisions and feelings. Very well written.
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- Rebecca

Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny

I don't think parents will enjoy this book very much. As a adult that has chosen NOT to have children I enjoyed Jen's take on being purposefully childless. Everything she said was spot on. I love her on Chelsey Lately so I was not surprised I like the book. As my title says, I never fell down laughing or busted my gut laughing, but there were quite a few chuckles in this on.
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- david

Book Details

  • Release Date: 04-12-2013
  • Publisher: Tantor Audio