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How to Fight Presidents
- Defending Yourself Against the Badasses Who Ran This Country
- Narrated by: Richard McGonagle
- Length: 5 hrs and 58 mins
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Publisher's summary
Make no mistake: Our founding fathers were more bandanas-and-muscles than powdered-wigs-and-tea.
As a prisoner of war, Andrew Jackson walked several miles barefoot across state lines while suffering from smallpox and a serious head wound received when he refused to polish the boots of the soldiers who had taken him captive. He was thirteen years old. A few decades later, he became the first popularly elected president and served the nation, pausing briefly only to beat a would-be assassin with a cane to within an inch of his life. Theodore Roosevelt had asthma, was blind in one eye, survived multiple gunshot wounds, had only one regret (that there were no wars to fight under his presidency), and was the first U.S. president to win the Medal of Honor, which he did after he died. Faced with the choice, George Washington actually preferred the sound of bullets whizzing by his head in battle over the sound of silence.
And now these men - these hallowed leaders of the free world - want to kick your ass.
Plenty of historians can tell you which president had the most effective economic strategies, and which president helped shape our current political parties, but can any of them tell you what to do if you encounter Chester A. Arthur in a bare-knuckled boxing fight? This book will teach you how to be better, stronger, faster, and more deadly than the most powerful (and craziest) men in history. You’re welcome.
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Reflecting on his career, Stephen E. Ambrose - one of the country's most influential historians - confronts America's failures and struggles as he explores both its moral and pragmatic triumphs. To America celebrates the men and women who invented the United States and made it exceptional. Taking a few swings at today's political correctness, Ambrose grapples with the country's historic sins of racism, its neglect and ill treatment of Native Americans, and its tragic errors.
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Wow!
- By Coach Nathan L. on 02-10-16
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Black Man, White House
- An Oral History of the Obama Years
- By: D. L. Hughley
- Narrated by: Mia Barron, Cherise Boothe, Ron Butler, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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From legendary comedian D. L. Hughley comes a bitingly funny send-up of the Obama years, as "told" by the key political players on both sides of the aisle. What do the Clintons, Republicans, fellow Democrats, and Obama's own family really think of President Barack Obama? Finally, the truth is revealed in this raucously funny "oral history" parody.
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Clever and Hilarious!
- By Fylynne on 07-14-16
By: D. L. Hughley
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Accidental Presidents
- Eight Men Who Changed America
- By: Jared Cohen
- Narrated by: Arthur Morey
- Length: 16 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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The strength and prestige of the American presidency has waxed and waned since George Washington. Accidental Presidents looks at eight men who came to the office without being elected to it. It demonstrates how the character of the man in that powerful seat affects the nation and world.
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LOVE LOVE LOVE this book
- By Samuel Stephen Ross on 05-03-19
By: Jared Cohen
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The Book of Joe
- The Life, Wit, and (Sometimes Accidental) Wisdom of Joe Biden
- By: Jeff Wilser
- Narrated by: Johnathan McClain
- Length: 5 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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The aviators. The Amtrak. The ice cream cones. The memes. Few politicians are as iconic, or as beloved, as Joe Biden. Now, in The Book of Joe, Biden fans will finally have the definitive look at America's favorite vice president - and what he can teach us. Structured around key moments in Biden's life and career - and filled with Biden-isms like "That's a bunch of malarkey" and "I may be Irish, but I'm not stupid" - this blend of biography, advice, and humor will reveal the experiences that forged Joe Biden, and the lessons we can use in our own lives.
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I LOVED it!!!
- By Leslie on 11-19-20
By: Jeff Wilser
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The Churchill Factor
- How One Man Changed History
- By: Boris Johnson
- Narrated by: Simon Shepherd
- Length: 11 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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On the 50th anniversary of Churchill's death, Boris Johnson celebrates the singular brilliance of one of the most important leaders of the 20th century. Taking on the myths and misconceptions along with the outsized reality, he portrays - with characteristic wit and passion - a man of contagious bravery, breathtaking eloquence, matchless strategizing, and deep humanity.
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Entertaining Biography
- By Jean on 01-29-15
By: Boris Johnson
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Worth Dying For
- A Navy Seal's Call to a Nation
- By: Ellis Henican, Rorke Denver
- Narrated by: Rorke Denver
- Length: 4 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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In a fast-paced and action-packed narrative, Navy SEAL commander Rorke Denver tackles the questions that have emerged about America's past decade at war - from what makes a hero to why we fight and what it does to us. Heroes are not always the guys who jump on grenades. Sometimes, they are the snipers who decide to hold their fire, the wounded operators who find fresh ways to contribute, or the wives who keep the families together back home.
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An Analysis of Recent History
- By Jean on 06-19-16
By: Ellis Henican, and others
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The Nightingale's Song
- By: Robert Timberg
- Narrated by: Patrick Lawlor
- Length: 22 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Robert Timberg weaves together the lives of Annapolis graduates John McCain, James Webb, Oliver North, Robert McFarlane, and John Poindexter to reveal how the Vietnam War continues to haunt America. Casting all five men as metaphors for a legion of well-meaning if ill-starred warriors, Timberg probes the fault line between those who fought the war and those who used money, wit, and connections to avoid battle.
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Too Long
- By Tom Carroll on 11-15-18
By: Robert Timberg
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Theodore Roosevelt
- A Strenuous Life
- By: Kathleen Dalton
- Narrated by: Suzanne Toren
- Length: 27 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Esteemed Harvard University historian and Associate Fellow Kathleen Dalton has been studying Theodore Roosevelt since 1975. This authoritative work, incorporating the latest scholarship, paints a compelling portrait of the president in all his robust glory.
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Excellent Biography
- By viennacoup on 10-18-05
By: Kathleen Dalton
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The Time of Our Lives
- Collected Writings
- By: Peggy Noonan
- Narrated by: Betsy Foldes Meiman, Rena-Marie Villano, Peggy Noonan
- Length: 17 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Peggy Noonan is one of the most brilliant and influential political thinkers and writers of our time. The author of five best-selling books ( What I Saw at the Revolution is now a classic), her column in The Wall Street Journal is a must-read for millions of Americans. Witty, incisive, and always original, Peggy Noonan is a conservative intellectual with wide-reaching appeal across the political spectrum. Now, for the first time, the best of Noonan's writing will be collected in one indispensable volume.
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Ronald Reagan is God. Who knew?
- By Rick on 11-20-15
By: Peggy Noonan
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Charlie Wilson's War
- The Extraordinary Story of the Largest Covert Operation in History
- By: George Crile
- Narrated by: Christopher Lane
- Length: 20 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Charlie Wilson's War is the untold story behind the last battle of the Cold War and how it fueled the rise of militant Islam. George Crile tells how Charlie Wilson, a maverick congressman from east Texas, conspired with a rogue CIA operative to launch the biggest, meanest, and most successful covert operation in the agency's history.
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The REAL Story of the Middle East and the CIA
- By Dale on 08-24-04
By: George Crile
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The Truth (with Jokes)
- By: Al Franken
- Narrated by: Al Franken
- Length: 9 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Al Franken reveals the alarming story of how Bush (barely) beat Kerry with his campaign of "fear, smear, and queers", and then claimed a nonexistent mandate; Republicans decided that Terri Schiavo would make "a great political issue"; Conservatives sought to undermine Social Security by using a strategy borrowed from...Vladimir Lenin; and more.
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The Truth Hurts!
- By A. Best on 09-06-10
By: Al Franken
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The 56
- Liberty Lessons from Those Who Risked All to Sign the Declaration of Independence
- By: Douglas MacKinnon
- Narrated by: Mike Chamberlain
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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The urgent need to honor the 56 Signers of the Declaration of Independence came to Douglas MacKinnon, fittingly enough, on the Fourth of July. While doing research for a column meant to remind the American people of that date’s critical importance, he came across example after example of those from the left and the far left—be they in the mainstream media, activists, or anarchists—calling for not only the “canceling” of the Fourth of July, but the continued smearing, censorship, and canceling of our Founding Fathers.
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Must read for every U.S. citizen!
- By DK Holmes on 05-24-22
What listeners say about How to Fight Presidents
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Josh
- 03-24-14
Absolutely One of the Funniest Books on Audible.
Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?
I finished this audiobook in two days. I wold have finished it in one but I stopped every couple of chapters to recommend it to anybody I thought would appreciate it.
What was one of the most memorable moments of How to Fight Presidents?
It's a given that Teddy Roosevelt's chapter would be awesome (which is was) but I have to say Andrew Jackson might have been my favorite.
Have you listened to any of Richard McGonagle’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
Richard McGonagle's reading is absolutely, 100%, the best performance I've ever heard as it pertains to the material. I don't know if Audible hands out an award for perfection in comedic delivery, but if not, they should. And they should name it the McGonagle.
If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?
Ronald Reagan is Wolverine. Ronald Reagan IS Wolverine. RONALD REAGAN IS WOLVERINE.
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22 people found this helpful
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- Russell
- 03-22-14
A historical overview of hilarious proportions!
First off kudos to Richard McGonagle for perfectly nailing the tone and demeanor of this book. This is perhaps the best reading of any of the hundreds of books that I have listened to from either audible or other places.
Secondly this book is a fun and lighthearted view of the historical people who ran the United States. If you cannot tell by the title it is a little bit vulgar but fun and silly through. It is still somewhat historically accurate (from the parts that I have independently studied).
Perhaps the largest downside to this book is that the author spends more or less equal time on all of the presidents, and while this leads to some very humorous chapters due to the need to fill it out prevents some presidents from getting the needed tome to accurately describe their badassery.
Also note that this only covers the dead presidents and not any living ones.
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20 people found this helpful
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- Dan
- 03-20-14
I have never laughed so hard
Would you listen to How to Fight Presidents again? Why?
Yes!! and I will. This book is hilarious and actually educational too.
What other book might you compare How to Fight Presidents to and why?
Never read/listened to I book like this. If I find another one I'll get it!
Which character – as performed by Richard McGonagle – was your favorite?
Theodore Roosevelt, I guess
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
I will listen again and again.
Any additional comments?
I have listened to over 500 books and never written a review until now. This is just too funny not to mention the interestring history!
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15 people found this helpful
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- Kevin
- 07-14-14
History that will leave you crying (w/ laughter!)
I completely enjoyed this well researched and completely unorthodox approach to American History. May I suggest a companion book which pits the presidents against each other? I'd expect a a final four of Washington, Jackson, Lincoln, & TR? (smart money is on TR!)
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12 people found this helpful
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- Jesse
- 03-28-15
Resplendent
I wish Dan O'Brien would have narrated this himself. He does read the intro and tells us not to worry as the book will be read by someone who knows what they are doing and doesn't stutter. However, people who find and read this book are probably Daniel O'Brien fans and enjoy his voice.
That is not to say that Richard McGonagle did anything less than spectacular work. He nailed all of the gags in a voice that manages to be an impossible mix of a DO'B impression and booming authority.
Content wise, this book met all of my expectations, providing interesting facts, wonderful jokes, and a perspective to history that acts as a bonding agent for knowledge. Who knew that William McKinley was so sweet?
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10 people found this helpful
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- Michelle Ward
- 07-10-15
My favorite book
The narrator is perfect. This book is so entertaining. A great way to learn and not be bored out of your mind. I'm on my fifth listen now! I recommend this book to everyone I know. Enjoy!
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9 people found this helpful
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- William
- 07-13-14
Entertaining and Educational
I know more about history than most, which is not saying a lot, and I learned something. If for the Zachary Taylor and cherries alone this book is worth it.
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7 people found this helpful
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- Kathi
- 03-28-17
Don't blame the narrator!
I bought this book because I love trivia about our country, especially about our presidents. I knew this was intended to be funny, which I would have enjoyed (and did in places)--but I didn't expect it to be so disrespectful. I found it more cringe-worthy than amusing some of the time. Parts were very interesting--but then he would slip in observations and comments that made me want to turn it off (and I eventually did do that). I probably should have just returned it.
If you like disrespectful humor--you'll love this book. If you prefer humor that doesn't belittle people, and especially not people we should respect for their service to our country--then think twice. It's just not the way I want to get a laugh. I felt sorry for the narrator having to read it.
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5 people found this helpful
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- Whitney
- 02-27-15
So funny!
I really enjoyed this book. I wish history class in high school had been this interesting.
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5 people found this helpful
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- Richard
- 05-12-14
Funny and Historical
Where does How to Fight Presidents rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
Ranks right up there for entertainment
What did you like best about this story?
History lesson with a funny twist
What does Richard McGonagle bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
A nice bass voice with just the right inflections at the right time. I've listened to this book several times and enjoy and learn something each time.
Any additional comments?
I don't know if I should take everything here as facts, but the author does disclaim appropriately.
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4 people found this helpful