How to Fight Presidents

  • by Daniel O'Brien
  • Narrated by Richard McGonagle
  • 6 hrs and 1 mins
  • Unabridged Audiobook

Publisher's Summary

Make no mistake: Our founding fathers were more bandanas-and-muscles than powdered-wigs-and-tea.
As a prisoner of war, Andrew Jackson walked several miles barefoot across state lines while suffering from smallpox and a serious head wound received when he refused to polish the boots of the soldiers who had taken him captive. He was thirteen years old. A few decades later, he became the first popularly elected president and served the nation, pausing briefly only to beat a would-be assassin with a cane to within an inch of his life. Theodore Roosevelt had asthma, was blind in one eye, survived multiple gunshot wounds, had only one regret (that there were no wars to fight under his presidency), and was the first U.S. president to win the Medal of Honor, which he did after he died. Faced with the choice, George Washington actually preferred the sound of bullets whizzing by his head in battle over the sound of silence.
And now these men - these hallowed leaders of the free world - want to kick your ass.
Plenty of historians can tell you which president had the most effective economic strategies, and which president helped shape our current political parties, but can any of them tell you what to do if you encounter Chester A. Arthur in a bare-knuckled boxing fight? This book will teach you how to be better, stronger, faster, and more deadly than the most powerful (and craziest) men in history. You’re welcome.


See More Like This

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful

A historical overview of hilarious proportions!

First off kudos to Richard McGonagle for perfectly nailing the tone and demeanor of this book. This is perhaps the best reading of any of the hundreds of books that I have listened to from either audible or other places.

Secondly this book is a fun and lighthearted view of the historical people who ran the United States. If you cannot tell by the title it is a little bit vulgar but fun and silly through. It is still somewhat historically accurate (from the parts that I have independently studied).

Perhaps the largest downside to this book is that the author spends more or less equal time on all of the presidents, and while this leads to some very humorous chapters due to the need to fill it out prevents some presidents from getting the needed tome to accurately describe their badassery.

Also note that this only covers the dead presidents and not any living ones.
Read full review

- Russell

Absolutely One of the Funniest Books on Audible.

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

I finished this audiobook in two days. I wold have finished it in one but I stopped every couple of chapters to recommend it to anybody I thought would appreciate it.

What was one of the most memorable moments of How to Fight Presidents?

It's a given that Teddy Roosevelt's chapter would be awesome (which is was) but I have to say Andrew Jackson might have been my favorite.

Have you listened to any of Richard McGonagle’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

Richard McGonagle's reading is absolutely, 100%, the best performance I've ever heard as it pertains to the material. I don't know if Audible hands out an award for perfection in comedic delivery, but if not, they should. And they should name it the McGonagle.

If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?

Ronald Reagan is Wolverine. Ronald Reagan is Wolverine. Ronald Reagan is Wolverine.

Read full review

- Josh

Book Details

  • Release Date: 03-18-2014
  • Publisher: Random House Audio