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God Is Disappointed in You
- Narrated by: James Urbaniak
- Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
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Publisher's summary
God Is Disappointed in You is for people who would like to read the Bible...if it would just cut to the chase. Stripped of its arcane language and interminable passages, every book of the Bible is condensed down to its core message, in no more than a few pages each.
Written by Mark Russell with cartoons by New Yorker cartoonist Shannon Wheeler, God Is Disappointed in You is a frequently hilarious, often shocking, but always accurate retelling of the Bible, including the parts selectively left out by Sunday School teachers and church sermons.
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Gripped by the tale of a Messiah whose blood we drink and body we eat, the genre-defying author Emmanuel Carrère revisits the story of the early Church in his latest work. With an idiosyncratic and at times iconoclastic take on the charms and foibles of the Church fathers, Carrère ferries listeners through his "doors" into the biblical narrative. Once inside, he follows the ragtag group of early Christians through the tumultuous days of the faith's founding.
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The Gospel of Emmanuel
- By Mark on 12-31-17
By: Emmanuel Carrère, and others
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Killing Jesus
- By: Stephen Mansfield
- Narrated by: John McLain
- Length: 4 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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In Killing Jesus, New York Times best-selling author Stephen Mansfield masterfully recounts the corrupt trial and grisly execution of Jesus more than 2,000 years ago. Approaching the story at its most human level, Mansfield uses both secular sources and biblical accounts to bring fresh perspective to the human drama, political intrigue, and criminal network behind the killing of the world's most famous man.
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It all comes alive!
- By Anonymous on 03-05-24
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Horrible Histories: Groovy Greeks
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- Narrated by: Terry Deary
- Length: 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Listeners can discover all the foul facts about the Groovy Greeks, including why girls ran about naked pretending to be bears, who had the world's first flushing toilet and why dedicated doctors tasted their patients' ear wax!
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Great, Gory, Grim, Grizzly and above all Groovy !
- By Ingrid on 05-23-23
By: Terry Deary, and others
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Killing Jesus
- A History
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Millions of people have thrilled to best-selling authors Bill O'Reilly and historian Martin Dugard's Killing Kennedy and Killing Lincoln, works of nonfiction that have changed the way we view history. Now the anchor of The O'Reilly Factor details the events leading up to the murder of the most influential man in history: Jesus of Nazareth. Nearly 2,000 years after this beloved and controversial young revolutionary was brutally killed by Roman soldiers, more than 2.2 billion human beings attempt to follow his teachings and believe he is God.
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The Jesus story in context
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Aavarana
- The Veil
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- Narrated by: Deepti Gupta
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Aavarana: The Veil by S. L. Bhyrappa is a story of a free-spirited and rebellious young woman, Lakshmi, who marries the man she is deeply in love with. Amir, her husband, requests she convert to Islam, and she reluctantly agrees. Despite her father being completely against the marriage, she breaks ties with him and changes her name to Razia. However, things change for the worse, and she discovers a different side to Amir. He is not the progressive and liberal person she thought he was.
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Excellent Narration
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God Built
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There is a process by which God builds a bold man, and it is seen in the life of Joseph. In this process, God will work providentially, in every detail of the man's life. He will work strangely, therefore much of what God is doing won't make sense. And he will work slowly, frustrating the man who is in a hurry to succeed immediately.
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Necessary
- By Krkn on 03-04-24
By: Steve Farrar
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Mythology: Mega Collection
- Classic Stories from the Greek, Celtic, Norse, Japanese, Hindu, Chinese, Mesopotamian and Egyptian Mythology
- By: Scott Lewis
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- Unabridged
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Do you know how many wives Zeus had? Or how the famous Trojan War was caused by one beautiful lady? Or how Thor got his hammer? Give your imagination a real treat. This Mega Mythology Collection of eight audiobooks is for you....
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An interesting set of introductions.
- By Kevin Potter on 05-30-19
By: Scott Lewis
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Unleash!
- Breaking Free from Normalcy
- By: Perry Noble
- Narrated by: Brandon Batchelar
- Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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When you're ready for something truly extraordinary, consider living life unleashed! Jesus promised us a full and abundant life. But if we’re honest, most of us feel as if we’re missing out. Every one of us - that includes you - has been custom designed with a purpose and a plan beyond imagination. Yet for some reason, we fill our days with normalcy, complacency, and predictability. In Unleash!, Perry Noble challenges us to grab on to God’s promise of full and complete living.
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Overwhelmed
- Winning the War Against Worry
- By: Perry Noble
- Narrated by: Lee McDerment
- Length: 6 hrs and 29 mins
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>Stressed out? Anxious? Overwhelmed? There’s good news - you’re not alone! No one ever said life was going to be easy. Between financial struggles, marital issues, health scares, and the run-of-the-mill problems of everyday life, it’s easy to feel weighed down and trapped by your circumstances. In times like these, it’s tempting to just throw in the towel and quit. Well, don’t do it! Perry Noble has stood at the edge of the abyss himself, and in Overwhelmed, he shares the keys to unlocking the chains of anxiety and despair once and for all.
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Too god heavy
- By Mark on 06-14-21
By: Perry Noble
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King Jesus
- By: Robert Graves
- Narrated by: Philip Bird
- Length: 18 hrs and 54 mins
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Robert Graves's controversial historical novel is a bold reworking of the story of Christ. Here Jesus is not the son of God, but the result of a secret marriage - the descendant of Herod and true King of the Jews. Written from the perspective of a lowly official at the end of the first century AD, King Jesus recounts Jesus's birth, youth, life as a charismatic 'wonder worker' and the unorthodox, bitter nature of his death and resurrection. Portraying Jesus not as divine but as a flawed human bent upon his own doom, this retelling of the gospels is a compelling blend of research
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Unto us a Child is born, Unto us a Son is given
- By Darwin8u on 12-25-13
By: Robert Graves
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What listeners say about God Is Disappointed in You
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Jim "The Impatient"
- 08-18-17
IT'S BETTER TO BE A LIVING DOG, THAN A DEAD LION
AN IDIOT IS A BOMB AND HIS MOUTH IS THE FUSE
I very much enjoyed this. It is very funny, but also thoughtful. I have always had trouble with some of the things in the Old Testament and it is great to see I was not alone. The Gospels were actually very inspiring. Those who have a problem with swear words or who are up tight about how a bible should be treated will not like this at all. This was entertaining and I learned a lot. This should not be the only way to teach the bible, but it should be included.
Narrator was good, although it would have been funnier to have used a Jewish Brooklynn accent in some parts.
They did their homework and this was not written just for some laughs.
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85 people found this helpful
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- Susie
- 08-04-14
Funny as Sin
The story of God's dysfunctional relationship with his chosen people.
"Like most marriages, it was a non-sexual affair, but unlike most marriages, it was anything but snoozy and passionless. God's marriage to the Jews was a tempestuous, rancorous affair."
The deadpan, impeccable comedic timing of James Urbaniac had me literally laughing out loud as I listened.
After years of research and translation to pithy modern language,
the authors point out that although so many people are saturated in Bible stories, few remember the absolute zaniness that goes on inside.
If you love the Bible or you love a good Bible satire, it’s just as satisfying.
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55 people found this helpful
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- Nicolas Paul Dunbar
- 05-28-15
Not disappointed in this book!
While I found this book to be highly irreverent I also found it to be highly funny! It is well written and equally well narrated. It covers books from both the old and New Testament and quite ably if I'm allowed to say so.
I have a few quibbles with some of the stories and a bit of the language used to describe the overall themes of the books. As a minister I found a few inconsistencies with the biblical record in the storytelling but it is mostly accurate with only a few mistakes here and there. Since this is written as a satirical view of the Scriptures is not necessary for her to have an esoteric accuracy.
I recommend this book to those Who are interested in the Bible and are able to laugh at themselves and the foibles of ancient believers as well as modern Christians.
5 Stars
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54 people found this helpful
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- Lifeisshort
- 07-29-14
A New Bible
This is an highly inventive and enjoyable way to look at biblical literature. While humorous and irreverent it is also respectful and actually more informative than you would think. I'm recommending this one as both entertainment and a tutorial.
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- Danielle
- 08-23-15
Hilarious, irreverent, but on the money
I haven't laughed this hard at a book in my entire life. It sums up the Bible fairly well, with profanity and hilarity. I would (and have) recommend(ed) this book to anyone, with a small disclaimer -- you need to not be uptight about your religion. If you have no ability to find humor in it, you will not appreciate this book. For example, one of the lines reads: "The whole ancient world was a bag of dicks. Even God was a bit of a dick." If you can't handle that, this book is not for you.
My only critique is that I wish the chapters were just the teensiest bit longer. It wouldn't have detracted from the purpose of the book, in my opinion, which was to summarize/explain a hugely difficult book into something manageable and understandable. I also think that the author's note, which came at the end of the book, would have been great at the beginning because it explains his intent, his misgivings, and the positive reception of the book by nuns and priests. I would maybe even recommend that readers check that part out first. Either way, this book is fantastic!!
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- Neuron
- 03-13-15
Excellent way to read the bible without having to
I once began reading the bible. However, I only got a few chapters beyond genesis before the dull language and pages after pages of genealogy forced my attention away to other things that seemed more relevant, such a fly sitting on the wall. So, when I read the synopsis of “God is disappointed in you” I thought that this book was for me, and I was certainly right.
In his introduction, Mark Russell, assures the reader that, yes, everything in “God is disappointed in you” is indeed in the bible. Russell says that he has merely excluded the excessively boring parts and rephrased conversations so that a modern reader can actually understand the dialogues. I am sure that many people (especially those who praise God) will object to Russell’s presentation, and I have not fact checked any substantial portion of the book, however, in those cases where I have compared God is disappointed in you with the bible (King James version), it gives an accurate account of the stories in the bible.
Even though I knew that the bible was filled with a lot of crazy people doing even more crazy things, the extent of the madness still baffled me. To actually read the stories in the bible confirmed that the bible is certainly no masterpiece. The bible can be compared to the Grimm fairy tales, with all its cruelty and magical stories, only much more boring. Surely, this book cannot have been written by God(!?), and if so, God is a terrible writer, which may not be so strange given that he appears to be occupied with making weird rules and committing genocides left and right...
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34 people found this helpful
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- Allen Moody
- 01-24-15
The Only Audio Book I Started Again Immediately
What made the experience of listening to God Is Disappointed in You the most enjoyable?
Funny, intellectually stimulating, irreverence on steroids.
What was one of the most memorable moments of God Is Disappointed in You?
When Mary and Joseph realized they had forgotten Jesus back at the Temple.
Have you listened to any of James Urbaniak’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
I liked how he sounded very Jewish.
If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?
God is Disappointed in You
Any additional comments?
The only audio book where upon completion I immediately started again and I bought 10 copies for friends and family. I still read it daily.
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32 people found this helpful
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- Nick
- 05-29-15
Not exactly
I was able to enjoy this book for what it is only because I was already educated in the Bible. If you have never studied the Bible, don't start here. The Bible is so much more vast, passionate, and profound than this. The very essence of the word gets completely lost in this hyper condensed story. Also, there is never a need for profanity when you are telling this story, unless you are trying to make it seem funny or cheap. I understand what the author was going for, but in my opinion, he missed the mark.
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30 people found this helpful
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- Pen Name
- 03-25-15
I have now read(heard) the Bible.
Reading from The Beginning, pun intended, I was never able to make it much further than Genesis. Thanks to the authors, and a great performance from the narrator, I was able to finish the Bible in less than six hours. I will be revisiting this one. The trip was enjoyable since the fluff had been meticulously wrung out and replaced with equal parts sarcasm and accuracy. If a reading of the Bible doesn't contain the phrase "tip slip", it's just not worth my time.
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21 people found this helpful
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- Green Mtns
- 10-12-14
Hilarious!
What did you love best about God Is Disappointed in You?
A hilarious retelling of the bible, updated for the 21rst century.
What did you like best about this story?
Perfect for those of us who have never read the bible, nor had any inclination to.
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16 people found this helpful