Baby's First Book of Socialist Propaganda

  • by William M. Schmalfeldt Sr.
  • Narrated by David Winograd
  • 1 hrs and 25 mins
  • Unabridged Audiobook

Publisher's Summary

There are no pretty pictures in this book. Pretty pictures are for soft minds. Do you want your children to be soft-minded? No. You do not. Soft minds are for liberals, and they are the weaklings we are fighting in the east. You want your children to be strong, liberty-loving, free-thinking patriots who will do as we say. You will begin listening to chapters from this audiobook when the precious little fetus being carried by one of your wives is in the first trimester of its life, which began the moment you, the father, soaked her woman parts with your sinful fluids. These stories will be read directly to the precious, darling angel growing in one of your wives' belly so at the moment of birth, the "child" (as we will call it) will be fully educated into the proper way of thinking.
Under no circumstances should the child be allowed to listen to this audiobook itself. It will require your careful supervision as the parent to ensure that the proper lessons are learned from the words contained herein. When the child is removed from your home for mandatory public indoctrination at your own expense, the child will be tested for its knowledge of these principles. Children who do not pass a written test will be sent to the Pain Mines of Wyoming for further processing and the parents of that child will be processed for whatever byproducts can be produced in the rendering process. This audiobook should be listened in a sneering, sarcastic manner so the child will be aware of the foolishness of Socialist thinking. When the child is old enough to have it done without killing it, the child should be spanked on the naked buttocks, with the book, if the child laughs at any part herein.


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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful

Good writing, Great reading - blasphemous

Any additional comments?

This one vacillates between a 3 and a 4 for me, but that was because I probably wasn't expecting the language or the blasphemous scenario (I get that the author didn't mean it that way, exactly).

The narrator was great, and the humor was great. I found myself pretty engaged (between cringes...) It was shorter than I thought it would be. Take out the loose treatment of God, and I probably would have given it 5 stars. If the above doesn't bother you, you'll likely love it!

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- Amazon Customer

Great sarcastic political book

Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?

This book is not for the faint at heart. Do not read it if you do not have a sarcastic bone in your body or if you are easily offended. In other words, this book pretends to be racist and xenophobic. It is cleverly disguised as a story to children while in gestation, so it becomes obvious a satire. The narrorator, David Winograd, has a terrific expressive voice, so it helps with the satirical feeling of the story.

Has Baby's First Book of Socialist Propaganda turned you off from other books in this genre?

To be honest, yes. It's super hard to look past the xenophobia. As sarcastic as it is, one worries that there is a shred of truth in the passionate dialog.

Which character – as performed by David Winograd – was your favorite?

It was hard to focus on characters.

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- Trish

Book Details

  • Release Date: 10-13-2014
  • Publisher: WMS Broadcasting