Does your toaster oven make you feel shamefully inadequate with his lofty ideals and Jeffersonian views of the world? Is the letter Q the wrong shade of yellow? Are you frequently bothered by abstract images and geometric shapes falling from the sky? If so, this book can help. The Toaster Oven Mocks Me is a humorous memoir that chronicles Steve's discovery, concealment, and eventual acceptance of synesthesia; a peculiar condition where one sense is stimulated, and two senses respond. It's like a "buy one, get one free" for your senses! But wait, there's more! Join Steve on his journey and experience the world as he does: Every letter and every number that you see, taking on its own distinct color. Visualizing dates in history and actually seeing a floating, holographic timeline just inches from your nose. And best of all, sensing personality from inanimate objects! But that's not all! Watch as our charismatic hero conceals his condition for decades using misdirection, clever tactics, and a sense of humor that only a mother could love. Order now and we'll throw in a mental breakdown at no extra charge! You read that right! You'll witness the inevitable outcome of hiding one's individuality for over four decades; and you'll occupy a front row seat as Steve finally figures out that uniqueness is something to be celebrated. Now how much would you pay? That's a brain condition and a mental collapse, for one low price! Order now!