Screw Everyone

  • by Ophira Eisenberg
  • Narrated by Ophira Eisenberg
  • 7 hrs and 31 mins
  • Unabridged Audiobook

Publisher's Summary

Screw Everyone is comedian Ophira Eisenberg's wisecracking account of how she spent most of her life saying "yes" to everything - and everyone - and how that attitude ultimately helped her overcome her phobia of commitment.
Skeptical about long-term relationships, Eisenberg approached dating as a sort of research experiment from early on: She spent her twenties traveling from futon to futon and gathering data, figuring that one day she'd put it all together somehow and build her own perfect Frankenmate. When she met a guy who didn't fall for the emotionally cavalier facade she'd constructed (a guy who wanted marriage and monogamy), she knew it was time to reevaluate.
From her first kiss to saying "I do", Screw Everyone is an honest, hilarious chronicle of how one woman discovered herself, conquered her fears, and even found the real thing one promiscuous encounter at a time.


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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful

Funny, good for passing time

Is there anything you would change about this book?

The book was well written, funny and great story.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Screw Everyone?

The last few chapters were the funniest. I don't want to give the book away but it was worth the read.

What about Ophira Eisenberg’s performance did you like?

She really helped with the character and did a great job with the story.

What else would you have wanted to know about Ophira Eisenberg’s life?

I feel like the readers are openly invited into her life and the story didn't leave out any details. Maybe another book is in the near future?

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- Meagan Whimsical

Best Audiobook EVER... and I'm not even done yet.

THIS BOOK IS HYSTERICAL. Ophira wrote this book with her obvious intelligence, snappy delivery and unapologetic candor... all of which combined make this great book probably the best book I'll hear in 2014. [Considering I have 112 titles in my online library, I feel very qualified to say this.] Oh, and I'm only 2/3rd done. As the title would suggest, it is slightly provocative, but that only adds to its complete awesomeness. If you're a woman, you will (unless you live under a rock) relate. If you're a dude, you'll enjoy Ophira's exploits and masculine approaches to dealing with/understanding men. Deep down she was always a girl looking for love, but thankfully (because it gave her material for this book) it was in all the wrong places. In the end, kissing a lot of frogs will eventually net you a prince. Thanks, Ophira!
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- Hilary

Book Details

  • Release Date: 02-18-2014
  • Publisher: Audible Studios