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The true accounts of my personal abusive marriage narrative are revealed with the intent to engage the listener in self-reflection and self-awareness, and much more. How do we know when it is safe to rightly say we have become victims of domestic violence? How does one move forward in revealing the ugly, sad truth to our loving others. The "ideal life", so individual, so subjective. My life as I dreamed it would include a loving husband and loving children. My husband had indeed become part of the ideal. If only I had known the ideal would become my "idol". And woe to those who promise to love, honor, and cherish such graven images. Very early on in my marriage I witnessed my precious spouse cross into abnormal and frightening behaviors. I knew his behaviors were both morally and culturally unacceptable and meant to hurt me. The first traumatic incident arrived while still blissfully recalling the wedding festivities, the excitement of seeing friends, and majesty of it all. The dream faded quickly as instinct and self-preservation took its place. I have just now become an abused wife. The predatory lion attacks his prey at the throat. Instinctively he knows to attack that which is most vulnerable. So it is with the predatory mortal male who seeks to wound and destroy. Unlike the lion who roars, having secured his prey and now fully satisfied, the appetite of the abuser remains insatiable. "I should just punch you right in the face." As I contemplated his threat, a phrase from a recent movie came to mind. I thought about quoting it aloud in response. The movie was Sudden Impact with Clint Eastwood; the phrase, "Go ahead, make my day." Glaring at Kevin straight on, I opted to give him the finger instead. Should have stuck with the catchphrase. In seemingly no time at all, Kevin had me down on the small patch of tile floor at the doorway. There he began to strangle me.
©2017 Jessica Nigra (P)2017 Jessica Nigra