Regular price: $17.49

Membership details Membership details
  • A 30-day trial plus your first audiobook, free.
  • 1 credit/month after trial – good for any book, any price.
  • Easy exchanges – swap any book you don’t love.
  • Keep your audiobooks, even if you cancel.
  • After your trial, Audible is just $14.95/month.
Select or Add a new payment method

Buy Now with 1 Credit

By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and Amazon's Privacy Notice. Taxes where applicable.

Buy Now for $17.49

Pay using card ending in
By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and Amazon's Privacy Notice. Taxes where applicable.

Add to Library for $0.00

By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and Amazon's Privacy Notice. Taxes where applicable.

Publisher's Summary

You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty. Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka: her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning.
©2005 Chelsea Handler (P)2008 Tantor
Show More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful
5 out of 5 stars
By Kathryn on 12-10-08

Chelsea, You are HYSTERICAL!

Wow, what a witty and quick book this was! I found myself laughing so hard cappucino nearly came out my nose, as I listened and drove one night. Very, very funny book. Be prepared for straight talk about sex and a new interpretation of your sexuality.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book!

Read More Hide me

14 of 15 people found this review helpful

4 out of 5 stars
By Lezlee on 07-05-10

My Horizontal Life

Although not narrated by Chelsea herself, this book is witty and raunchy all at once! This book does not disapoint.

Read More Hide me

6 of 6 people found this review helpful

See all Reviews

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful
5 out of 5 stars
By Amazon Customer on 07-19-18

Hilarious on so many levels

This book was recommended to me by my cousin, I'm gonna be honest, I purchased it out of politeness and then ended up finding it absolutely hialrious...and kinda relateable (right girls?!)

The narration was very good, which made it even more of an enjoyable listen. I've laughed out loud on the tube, whilst being on my own. Which made me look a little weird but it also gave me extra seats for my bags.

Anyway I'd recommend! Great listen!

Read More Hide me
5 out of 5 stars
By Miss on 10-14-11

Hilarious!

I've been a huge fan of Chelsea Handler for a while, and was so excited to read this book. It really doesn't disappoint. One of those books you can read over and over again and still enjoy as much as you did the first time.

Read More Hide me
See all Reviews

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful
2 out of 5 stars
By Kirsten on 10-14-16

one big beginning of a story with no end.

the stories are funny but it ends just as the real story begins. don't expect anything grand. it's a little funny but i wouldn't listen again.

Read More Hide me
See all Reviews