I Hate Everyone, Except You

  • by Clinton Kelly
  • Narrated by Clinton Kelly
  • 4 hrs and 55 mins
  • Unabridged Audiobook

Publisher's Summary

Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker. Whether he's throwing his baby sister in the air to jump-start her cheerleading career or heroically rescuing his best friend from death by mud bath, Clinton leaps life's social hurdles with aplomb. With his signature wit, he shares his unique ability to navigate the stickiest of situations, like deciding whether it's acceptable to eat chicken wings with a fork on live television (spoiler: it's not). Clinton delves into all these topics - and many more - in this thoroughly unabashedly frank and uproarious collection.


What the Critics Say

"Clinton wrote a book that has me doubled over laughing and trying to catch my breath! Life is too short not to laugh good and hard when a good, hard laugh is offered. Clinton is offering. Read his book." (Jane Lynch, actress, comedian, and New York Times best-selling author of Happy Accidents)


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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful

Filthy language overshadowed stories

This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?

Stories might have been okay if the language hadn't been so bad. Very disappointing.

Would you be willing to try another one of Clinton Kelly’s performances?


What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?


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- Doris

A Decent Read

Overall, it was a funny story. I enjoyed it and really did laugh out loud. However, I didn't like the way he openly bashes other people. Some things are better left unsaid.
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- Amazon Customer

Book Details

  • Release Date: 01-10-2017
  • Publisher: Tantor Audio