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A fixation on porn and orgasm, strings of failed relationships and serial hook-ups with strangers, inevitable blackouts to blunt the shame - these are not things we often hear women share publicly, and not with the candor, eloquence and introspection Erica Garza brings to Getting Off.
What sets this courageous and riveting account apart from your typical misery memoir is the absence of any precipitating trauma beyond the garden variety of hurt we've all had to endure in simply becoming a person - reckoning with family, learning to be social, integrating what it means to be sexual. Whatever tenor of violence or abuse Erica's life took on through her behavior was of her own making, fueled by fear, guilt, self-loathing, self-pity, loneliness, and the hopelessness those feelings brought on as she runs from one side of the world to the other in an effort to break her habits - from East Los Angeles to Hawaii and Southeast Asia, through the brothels of Bangkok and the yoga studios of Bali to disappointing stabs at therapy and 12-steps back home.
In this remarkable audiobook, Garza draws an evocative, studied portrait of the anxiety that fuels her obsessions as well as the exhilaration and hope she begins to feel when she suspects she might be free of them. And yet there is no false or prepackaged sense of redemption here. Even her relationship with the man she will ultimately marry seems credibly, painfully rocky as it finds its legs with several false starts. Erica's increasing sense of self-acceptance and peace by journey's end feels utterly earned and absent of recovery platitudes.
In exploring the cultural taboos surrounding sex and porn from a female perspective, Garza offers a brave and necessary voice to our evolving conversations about addiction and the impact that Internet culture has had on us all.
Customer ReviewsMost Helpful
By Brady Fehr on 01-27-18
Fascinating venture into the mid of a highly sexual woman
I found this book to be very honest, raw, and very interesting. Extremely well written and superbly narrated. As a man who has crossed path’s with women like Erica this really helped explain much. Women are complicated so every time I read a book or meet a woman with such astounding honesty and insight I learn and understand more (last one was “Wild”). Despite the title this book this isn’t a series of graphic descriptions about raunchy sex, if that’s what you’re looking for then skip it. In my opinion this book is about the need to balance sexuality, whether you’re a man or a woman, the porn addition is just one part of the whole picture. I look forward to reading more from Erica, and not just about sex. She’s clearly very intelligent and I’m sure she’ll use that talent writing about all types of subjects.
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