Finally Out

Letting Go of Living Straight, A Psychiatrist's Own Story

By: Loren A. Olson MD, Karen Levy - editor

Narrated by: Loren A. Olson

Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins

Publisher's summary

Dr. Loren A. Olson has frequently been asked two questions: How could you not know that you were gay until the age of forty? Wasn't your marriage just a sham to protect yourself at your wife's expense? In Finally Out, Dr. Olson vigorously answers both questions by telling the inspiring story of his evolving sexuality, into which he intelligently weaves psychological concepts and gay history. This book is a powerful exploration of human sexuality, particularly the sexuality of mature men who, like Dr. Olson, lived a large part of their lives as straight men - sometimes long after becoming aware of their same-sex attractions.

©2010 Loren A. Olson, M.D. (P)2014 Audible Inc.

Critic reviews

"Until recently, gay men over forty seemingly didn't exist. In Finally Out, Dr. Olson debunks such ignorance and lends insight into the hearts of mature men who can be gay, sexy, and respectable. It's high time." (Tim Turner, playwright [credits include Out Late] and journalist)

"I knew I was gay from my early college days. I wondered why other men found it so difficult to come out. Now, after reading Finally Out, I understand." (Larry Jacobson, Author of The Boy Behind the Gate: How His Dream of Sailing Around the World Became a Six-Year Odyssey of Adventure, Fear, Discovery and Love)

"Finally Out is a much needed book that fills out our picture of how gay men come to terms with the apparent dichotomy between their rational assumptions about the two sexes and their own set of sexual attractions that do not fit that norm. Loren Olson blends the story of his own experience of coming out and an array of scientific information to develop his thesis. An insightful read." (Amity P. Buxton, PhD, author of The Other Side of the Closet: The Coming-Out Crisis for Straight Spouses and Families; founder of the Straight Spouse Network)

loved this book!! so grateful to Loren!! thank you

Loren is wonderful! so honest and helpful and loving and knowledgeable and just what i needed to hear!

Highly recommended !

Great for anyone who know, is or works with anybody in the LGBTQI community. The interweave of first person emotional experience with science and sociology captured and maintained my interest.

Very Eye Opening

As a younger gay man, I went into this hoping to learn more about older gay men’s experience in the community, and I got that and more. This book is not quite just a retelling of Dr. Olson’s life, but an expansion from it into advice for young and older men alike and an exploration of society’s views on gay people. Honestly, I imagine that many people would benefit from this book with its universal advice on self-esteem and finding yourself, not just in terms of sexuality. I loved this book, and my only complaint would be that it sometimes flowed very strangely, but that might be because I wasn’t as attentive as I could have been while working.

Why 5 Stars? Because It Is Unique

I'd give Lord of the Rings 5 stars. I'd give Sister Carrie 5 stars. How would a little known, middle-aged, just out writer get 5 stars? By being painstakingly honest in both his research and his own history. While he may lack the wizard voice of Ian McKellan and is not a professional actor or narrator, the honesty and vulnerability I could hear in Loren Olson's voice made me care about him and take his personal narrative seriously; he was easy to empathize with.

I'm not much younger than Olson, so I related to his timeline, but I knew in 1984 at age 14 whereas he figured it out after wading through more cultural barriers, especially the heaviness of homosexuality being a diagnosable illness. One decade makes a huge difference in the layers of self-evident truths, and Olson entails the beliefs about himself that he inherited from both culture and his own profession. My dilemma was religion; he had to deal with it, too, and I think that the power over personal perceptions was comparable for us.

The essential value of this book, for me, was not that it would help me come out or accept myself but that it framed the experience that I had inherited, stirred, and distilled until I could stand up to strong cultural and spiritual pressures.

I listened to this audiobook in the summer while gardening and while building a wrestling ring behind my garage. For me to complete an audiobook, I have to be able to pay attention, and I have to care, but it also has to take over my thinking as I work on personal development: it has to suspend my constant in and out of memories, regrets, loves, and losses, but the book did more than get me out of my worries; it connected my past to someone else's reality.

Hearing the story in the author’s voice

I had read both of Dr. Olson’s books and decided to listen to this one after finding out he narrated it. It is such a relatable story and I think it adds a lot to hear it in his own voice. I highly recommend his books either in reading or audio if you had or known someone who had a similar journey.

Excellent!

Really great resource for those of us who came out later in life. I'm also going to buy the book.

A Captivating Read

Olson delivered a book that is not only insightful but genuinely touching it's a must read.

Really good book and covers most relevant issues

I loved this book and it was very helpful to me. I've been coming out for nearly 10 years and here is everything I've been dealing with, explained in one book. I wish I'd read it 10 years ago - it would have saved me a lot of frustration, anguish, and fear. The only thing I don't care for in this book is the narration... it's read by the author. I think a professional actor or narrator would have made this book more enjoyable. The author frequently slows down noticeably to pronounce words as if trying to say a tongue-twister. He does OK, and I suppose many authors want to read their own books, but the text itself would have come more to life with a pro.

I was expecting more advice on how to let go of being straight.

This is more of an autobiography/ coming out story than a guide book. I appreciate that it is narrated by the author and the factoids are nice but Loren could have done a better job narrating his own writing.
Also, i came away wondering what the short chapter on bisexuality was meant to tell us. It could be interpreted as “bisexuals are men who are afraid to be gay”. I am bisexual and married to a woman. I only came out last year at 46, so i could just be sensitive.