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Dying to Be Thin
- The True Story of My Lifelong Battle Against Anorexia
- Narrated by: Yaz Shah
- Length: 9 hrs and 21 mins
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Publisher's summary
”The figure looking back at me was little more than a skeleton with just a thin layer of tissue paper for skin, drawn over the stick-like bones. I stood staring for a good couple of minutes, considering what I'd become. And my verdict? Brilliant, I thought. It's been worth every moment of all that hard work.”
Say the name Nikki Grahame and most people will remember the bubbly, highly strung and hugely entertaining Big Brother 7 contestant. Since leaving the Big Brother house, she has forged a successful career for herself in presenting and writing. Yet Nikki isn't just another reality television contestant and her life story is not like any other you will ever read.
From the age of eight until she was nineteen, Nikki battled anorexia nervosa but few cases have been quite as extreme as hers. Aged just eight and weighing just under three stone, Nikki was diagnosed as anorexic.
For the next eight years, she was in and out of institutions - seven in total - during which time she attempted suicide twice and had to be sedated up to four times a day so that she could be force-fed. At one point, she was sedated for fourteen days while doctors sewed a tube into her stomach, through which she was fed in order to get her weight out of the critical range. The lengths that she went to avoid eating and find ways to exercise excessively shocked doctors who have worked in the field for years. As Nikki says, “I've always wanted to be the best at everything I do, so I had to be the best anorexic - and I was.”
This compelling book tells the story of an incredible journey.
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When Michael Lewis first met him, Sam Bankman-Fried was the world’s youngest billionaire and crypto’s Gatsby. CEOs, celebrities, and leaders of small countries all vied for his time and cash after he catapulted, practically overnight, onto the Forbes billionaire list. Who was this rumpled guy in cargo shorts and limp white socks, whose eyes twitched across Zoom meetings as he played video games on the side? In Going Infinite Lewis sets out to answer this question, taking listeners into the mind of Bankman-Fried.
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really expected more rigor from Michael Lewis
- By Wowhello on 10-04-23
By: Michael Lewis
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Sorry for Your Loss
- By: Michael Cruz Kayne
- Length: 1 hr and 23 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
A sidesplitting, heartrending look at life—and death. This powerfully personal production, recorded live from the Minetta Lane Theatre, cuts through the platitudes, directly reaching out to anyone who has ever experienced loss—or will. So...everyone.
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A Must Listen for the Grieving
- By Chris on 09-25-23
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The Demon Next Door
- By: Bryan Burrough
- Narrated by: Steve White
- Length: 2 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Best-selling author Bryan Burrough recently made a shocking discovery: The small town of Temple, Texas, where he had grown up, had harbored a dark secret. One of his high school classmates, Danny Corwin, was a vicious serial killer. In this chilling tale, Burrough raises important questions of whether serial killers can be recognized before they kill or rehabilitated after they do. It is also a story of Texas politics and power that led the good citizens of the town of Temple to enable a demon who was their worst nightmare.
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Odd narration choice
- By Amanda Fredericks on 03-08-19
By: Bryan Burrough
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Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World
- By: Jack Weatherford
- Narrated by: Jonathan Davis, Jack Weatherford
- Length: 14 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The Mongol army led by Genghis Khan subjugated more lands and people in 25 years than the Romans did in 400. In nearly every country the Mongols conquered, they brought an unprecedented rise in cultural communication, expanded trade, and a blossoming of civilization.
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Golden Horde/Platinum Listen
- By Cynthia on 12-11-13
By: Jack Weatherford
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Brutally Honest
- Mel B’s tell-all memoir
- By: Melanie Brown, Louise Gannon
- Narrated by: Melanie Brown, Phoenix Chi Gulzar Brown, Andrea Brown, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
As one-fifth of the iconic Spice Girls and judge on X Factor and America's Got Talent, Melanie Brown, aka Scary Spice, has been an international star since the age of 19. And yet there are sides of Mel that no one has ever seen, or really known. Brutally Honest is an exposé of the struggles and acute pain that lay behind the glamour and success. With deep personal insight, remarkable frankness and Melanie’s trademark Yorkshire humour, this audiobook removes the mask of fame and reveals the mother, wife and daughter behind the Spice Girl everyone thinks they know.
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I'm touched
- By Faith on 11-29-18
By: Melanie Brown, and others
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The Autobiography of Malcolm X
- As Told to Alex Haley
- By: Malcolm X, Alex Haley
- Narrated by: Laurence Fishburne
- Length: 16 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Experience a bold take on this classic autobiography as it’s performed by Oscar-nominated Laurence Fishburne. In this searing classic autobiography, originally published in 1965, Malcolm X, the Muslim leader, firebrand, and Black empowerment activist, tells the extraordinary story of his life and the growth of the Human Rights movement. His fascinating perspective on the lies and limitations of the American dream and the inherent racism in a society that denies its non-White citizens the opportunity to dream, gives extraordinary insight into the most urgent issues of our own time.
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Audible Masterpiece
- By Phoenician on 09-10-20
By: Malcolm X, and others
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The Debutante
- By: Jon Ronson
- Narrated by: Jon Ronson
- Length: 3 hrs and 11 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Thirty years ago, award-winning journalist Jon Ronson stumbled on the mystery of Carol Howe—a charismatic, wealthy former debutante turned white supremacist spokeswoman turned undercover informant. In 1995, Carol was spying on Oklahoma’s neo-Nazis for the government just when Timothy McVeigh blew up a federal building in Oklahoma City, killing 168 people.
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Interesting but not compelling
- By Gail Jester on 04-15-23
By: Jon Ronson
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Two Women Walk into a Bar
- By: Cheryl Strayed
- Narrated by: Cheryl Strayed
- Length: 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Twenty-one years after Cheryl Strayed set off on the Pacific Crest Trail to heal from the death of her beloved mother, Cheryl’s mother-in-law, Joan, is given weeks to live. As she and her husband help see Joan through her final days, Cheryl reckons with their complicated relationship, determined to connect with a woman who both showed her love and (sometimes hilariously) held her at a distance. Cheryl reflects on their two decades together as she comes to a deeper understanding of the secrets and sorrows in Joan’s complicated past.
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Cheryl tells a great story!
- By Amazon Customer on 01-01-24
By: Cheryl Strayed
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The Year of Magical Thinking
- By: Joan Didion
- Narrated by: Vanessa Redgrave
- Length: 1 hr and 28 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When celebrated writer Joan Didion’s life was altered forever, she wrote a new chapter. In this adaptation of her iconic memoir, Didion transforms the story of the shattering loss of her husband and their daughter into a one-woman play performed by Tony Award winner Vanessa Redgrave, who originated the role on Broadway in 2007.
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Difficult story, but worth it
- By Maya on 08-07-20
By: Joan Didion
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Something Ain't Right
- By: Roger Stringer, Zachary Stringer
- Narrated by: Roger Stringer, Zachary Stringer
- Length: 1 hr and 53 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Roger Stringer grew up in rural Mississippi, hunting and eating everything from deer to rabbits. When he had two sons, Zac and Justin, he gave them guns and took them to the woods as well. Then one day when the boys were home alone, he got a call from Zac that Justin had been shot. What follows is an intimate and gripping memoir about the shooting’s aftermath. The story moves between the perspectives of Roger and Zac as they take us through their journey of betrayal, redemption, and ultimately confrontation with a company that had kept its corruption a secret for decades.
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The Journey for Truth
- By samsararose on 05-19-23
By: Roger Stringer, and others
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Chase Darkness with Me
- How One True Crime Writer Started Solving Murders
- By: Billy Jensen, Karen Kilgariff - foreword
- Narrated by: Karen Kilgariff, Billy Jensen
- Length: 8 hrs and 19 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In Chase Darkness with Me, you’ll ride shotgun as journalist Billy Jensen identifies the Halloween Mask Murderer, finds a missing girl in the California Redwoods, and investigates the only other murder in New York City on 9/11. You’ll hear intimate details of the hunts for two of the most terrifying serial killers in history: his friend Michelle’s pursuit of the Golden State Killer which is chronicled in I’ll Be Gone In The Dark which Billy helped finish after Michelle’s passing, and his own quest to find the murderer of the Allenstown 4 family.
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COULD NOT STOP
- By KK on 04-14-19
By: Billy Jensen, and others
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Own It
- The Secret to Life
- By: Diane von Furstenberg
- Narrated by: Diane von Furstenberg
- Length: 1 hr and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Diane von Furstenberg, entrepreneur and philanthropist, presents her words to live by. In an easy-to-navigate A-Z dictionary format, designed to be browsed or listened to as a whole, Own It offers listeners Diane’s well-earned wisdom for enjoying both personal and professional growth at any age.
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Some books should just never be opened
- By Mark on 06-08-22
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For almost 30 years, Susan Burton hid her obsession with food and the secret life of compulsive eating and starving that dominated her adolescence. This is the relentlessly honest, fiercely intelligent story of living with both anorexia and binge-eating disorder, moving past her shame, and learning to tell her secret.
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Love the honesty!
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In 1995, Hadley Freeman wrote in her diary: “I just spent three years of my life in mental hospitals. So why am I crazier than I was before????” From the ages of 14 to 17, Freeman lived in psychiatric wards after developing anorexia nervosa. Her doctors informed her that her body was cannibalizing her muscles and heart for nutrition, but they could tell her little else: why she had it, what it felt like, what recovery looked like. For the next twenty years, Freeman lived as a “functioning anorexic,” grappling with new forms of self-destructive behavior as the anorexia mutated and persisted.
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Some issues with the book
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In this searing, unflinchingly honest book, Portia de Rossi captures the complex emotional truth of what it is like when food, weight, and body image take priority over every other human impulse or action. She recounts the elaborate rituals around eating that came to dominate hours of every day, from keeping her daily calorie intake below 300 to eating precisely measured amounts of food out of specific bowls and only with certain utensils. When this wasn’t enough, she resorted to purging and compulsive physical exercise, driving her body and spirit to the breaking point.
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For All Dieters, not just Anorexic Girls
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Rose and Lily Winters are twins, as close as the bond implies; they feel each other’s emotions, taste what the other is feeling. Like most young women, they’ve struggled with their bodies and food since childhood, and high school finds them turning to food - or not - to battle the waves of insecurity and the yearning for popularity. But their connection can be as destructive as it is supportive, a yin to yang. When Rose stops eating, Lily starts - consuming everything Rose won’t or can’t.
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nothing special
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Precociously intelligent, imaginative, energetic, and ambitious, Marya Hornbacher grew up in a comfortable middle-class American home. At the age of 5, she returned home from ballet class one day, put on an enormous sweater, curled up on her bed, and cried because she thought she was fat. By age 9, she was secretly bulimic, throwing up at home after school, while watching Brady Bunch reruns on television and munching Fritos. She added anorexia to her repertoire a few years later and took great pride in her ability to starve. Marya's story gathers intensity with each passing year. By the time she is in college and working for a wire news service in Washington D.C., she is in the grip of a bout of anorexia so horrifying that it will forever put to rest the romance of wasting away. Down to 52 pounds and counting, Marya becomes a battlefield: her powerful death instinct at war with the will to live. Why would a talented young girl go through the looking glass and slip into a netherworld where up is down, food is greed, and death is honor? Why enter into a love affair with hunger, drugs, sex, and death? Marya Hornbacher sustained both anorexia and bulimia through 5 lengthy hospitalizations, endless therapy, the loss of family, friends, jobs, and ultimately, any sense of what it means to be "normal." In this vivid, emotionally wrenching memoir, she recreates the experience and illuminates the tangle of personal, family, and cultural causes underlying eating disorders.
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Abridged=Horrible
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Some issues with the book
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entertaining
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Very good but...
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thinandbeautiful.com
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actually written by an anorexic
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Love
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My sophomore year changed everything. I dropped 40 pounds after a stint in fat camp. Prior to losing weight, most of my time was spent comparing myself to my twin sister and trying to hide my cankles. But losing weight made all things seem possible. Now I'm popular, vying for the hottest guy in school and competing for a prom queen nomination. Finally, I'm getting noticed, and it's all because I dropped the pounds.
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memoir of a brief career as a top model - and a brutally honest account of what goes on behind the scenes in a fascinating closed industry. Scouted in the street when she was 17, Victoire Dauxerre's story started like a teenager's dream: within months she was on the catwalks of New York's major fashion shows and part of the most select circle of in-demand supermodels in the world.
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Everyone thinks they know the story of Milly Dowler. Haunting headlines about the missing schoolgirl splashed across front pages. The family's worst fears realised when her body was found months later. The years of waiting for the truth, only to learn that the killer, known to the police, lived just yards from where Milly had vanished. The parents subjected to horrific psychological torture at a trial orchestrated by the murderer.
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What listeners say about Dying to Be Thin
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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Performance
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- ro_runner
- 11-07-15
Not What You Might Think
Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?
Not necessarily. I am more interested in the professional treatment & analysis of eating disorders. This book is a bit on the sensational side from that perspective, notwithstanding that I believe it to be an honest account from the author's viewpoint.
What was most disappointing about Nikki Grahame’s story?
There is a giant piece missing in this book that only Nikki's caregivers could possibly provide. It seems highly improbable to me that Nikki simply "woke up" one day & decided she'd had it with her anorexia & wanted to be better. Something psychologically was going on all those years that changed. What that might be is far more intriguing to me than the fact that this self-absorbed young lady wound up on Big Brother (a show I've never watched). While it is none of our business, my guess is problems at home were much deeper & Nikki's psychological problems more far more intense than even this dramatic book would reveal. From this account, it would seem that one can simply change her mind one day & go from the brink of death to stardom. That is not reality -- & certainly not for hundreds of young women suffering from eating disorders. Might they not now think that even though there will be pain along the way they might end up the same way? And what result when they do not?
What else would you have wanted to know about Nikki Grahame’s life?
Accounts directly from others -- mom, dad, sister, caregivers. Anorexia is not well understood & I don't think it can be understood simply from the point of view of the person affected. This is a disease with poor insight & the person affected is not the only one walking a hellish road. Perhaps this book is not the right forum, but I am interested in what approaches to Nikki's care were discussed with her parents.
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7 people found this helpful
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- Robin
- 07-23-21
R.I.P Nikki
Very intense story. I googled her name and found she had relapsed during the pandemic and passed away on April 9, 2021. R.I.P.
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4 people found this helpful
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- CathyF.
- 10-03-22
Well …. What the heck ??????
This gal was sick …. This poor thing …. But the thing is how did she get this ill????? Her parents got divorced and then she quickly slipped into seriously debilitating hard core Eating disorder at the tender age of 8 ….. that’s like really young to become this mentally ill …. I wish she would have really let us in more on her real diagnosis. I think there was a lot more to this story that we were not really clued in about . How this child got this sick that fast at that young of age . There’s something not adding up …. You never really learn much about what really was bothering this person . Unfortunately she is gone now and with her death we will never know what made this girl really tick . She had a really rough childhood but not so much from the divorce of her parents but all the hospitals she was living in because she was in some kind of battle to win eating disorder person of the year … it’s crazy what she went through…. Im sorry she’s gone . Sad story really not a lot here to learn other than how severe an eating disorder can get . I wish there was more info about her real diagnosis and what compelled her to the edge especially at such a young age . RIp Nikki …
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1 person found this helpful
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- Jessica
- 05-07-22
inspiring
Wow! This story was very close to my heart as I am someone that has struggled with anorexia and bulimia for many many years. Like the author I was hospitalized and put into treatment centers and when I would come home- I would go back to my old habits. I’m so glad that Nikki was able to find her way in this book. Her honesty and determination are striving force in recovery. My only wish for Nikki is that she would have been able to continue to fight her demons and the monster that is anorexia. I was so sad to learn when I googled her last night that did succumb to her anorexia. What an inspiring story with such a tragic ending.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Ning Wiebmer
- 09-12-23
Such sadness
I'm glad I didn't know Nikki eventually died at a young age from her anorexia when I started the book. Her final passage is so hopeful. Her mother is an angel.
Listening to all the honesty and raw pain, I still don't understand this disease. It's poignant to hear Nikki's own voice recount her life...
It's an engaging book.
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- Liza Wolin
- 08-12-23
A sad but great story on Nikki’s struggle with Anorexia
This was a wonderful book but heartbreaking as Nikki passed years ago. I could relate to so much as I struggled with Anorexia on and off for many years. May she rest in peace.
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- Virginia
- 07-29-23
An eye opener about eating disorders.
Excellent book, tells you in detail about the life of a sweet child with a disfunctional home that became obsessed with keeping herself thing to the point of death. An eye opener for parents since I would have never thought that a 6 year old would actually have this kind of thoughts.
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- Sandy Jeanne
- 06-24-23
Wow
Well all my sympathy for the family. What a hard life they had. I believe this girl was emotionally disturbed with anorexia being secondary. It seemed a way to control others.
I watched a clip of British big Brother and appears to be a lifelong condition. She was popular on the show ? Seemed to be always looking for attention.
The book is written as tho the author is very proud to have anorexia. It takes years until she “wants” to get better.
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- Bridget Weeks
- 01-27-23
Mental health issues
One of the things that bothered me about this book was while Nicki was throwing fits made for a two year old, she thought people in the psych ward were “really crazy”. She didn’t seem to be embarrassed about her disturbing behavior, even after she overcame her illness
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- Chris A
- 09-24-22
Sad story
Such a raw and honest account of her struggle. I felt so sad the whole time knowing that she did not make it. Definitely a cautionary tale for anyone struggling with this disease. RIP sweet girl.
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