Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies

  • by Chris Kluwe
  • Narrated by Chris Kluwe
  • 5 hrs and 1 mins
  • Unabridged Audiobook

Publisher's Summary

"Hi. In your hands, right now, you hold the culmination of thousands of years of human intelligence, ingenuity, and brilliance. Now put your goddamn phone down and pay attention to my book.
"What is in my book, you ask? (I'm really glad you asked, by the way, because now I get to tell you.)
"Time travel. Gay marriage. Sportsballing. Futuristic goggles that DO NOTHING.
"Tiny brags from my publisher, stuff like: 'This is an uproarious, uncensored take on empathy, personal responsibility, and what it means to be human.'
"Excessive brags about myself: 'An extraordinarily clever, punishingly funny, sharp-tongued blogosphere star, NFL player, husband and father, one-time violin prodigy, voracious lifetime reader, obsessive gamer, and fearless champion of personal freedom.'
"Oh, and also an essay on the Pope's Twitter account. Honestly, if that doesn't draw you in, there's no hope left for humanity. I also give my own funeral eulogy, in case you were hoping I'd go away and die now!
"So please, join me in the glorious art of windmill tilting by reading this 'collection of rousing, uncensored personal essays, letters, and stories' (I have no idea why that's in quotes).
"Join the herd of Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies.
"(You know you want to.)"


What the Critics Say

"The most interesting man in the N.F.L." (The New York Times)
"In a league (and sports climate) which has become one, long, repetitive sound bite, a guy who will actually say something meaningful." (
"Chris Kluwe is a glimmering sparklepony of candor (and not afraid to dive fearlessly into the marriage equality debate)." (Mother Jones)


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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful

Great Listen, Great Book

If you could sum up Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies in three words, what would they be?

Funny Honest Liberal

What did you like best about this story?

His genuineness and honesty mixed with a dash of humor.

What does Chris Kluwe bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

The emphasis in his reading really adds to the funny nature of the book.

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?


Read full review

- Eric Flapjack Ashley

Not to my liking.

I am a left leaning individual like Chris. I agree with nearly every one of his points of view. However, I find his style obnoxious and worse, he isn't funny. I Didn't laugh once. I found him to be that bad American stereotype. I was hoping to learn a thing or two here. There was nothing for me I'm afraid. If you like his style, then perhaps you will fare better than I.
Read full review

- Shirley

Book Details

  • Release Date: 06-25-2013
  • Publisher: Hachette Audio